


The Taming of Murray

by saucyminx



Series: Shirtless Welling Series [2]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-30
Updated: 2009-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, here's the thing. Chad and Christian had this fling in Cabo San Lucas because it was getting a little lame to watch Jensen make lovesick puppy dog eyes at Jared all the time. Then they didn't talk for four months until Jensen invited both up to stay during a filming break as a surprise for Jared. Of course, Chad is pretty damn awesome so naturally, Christian couldn't keep his hands to himself. Now they're heading to Christian's place, and there's a pretty good possibility there's a few things Christian needs to teach Chad if this is going to work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There seemed to be this common theory on the internet that Chad Michael Murray was a douche bag. Not just a douche bag, but a douche bag who went around devirginizing teenage girls. Blond teenage girls seemed to be his preference. Christian was most certainly not a blond teenage girl. And there was no _devirginizing_. But sometimes Chad could be a douche bag, which led to the conclusion that the internet was not always wrong. Just 99.9% of the time. Contrary to popular belief though, Chad was a lot smarter than some of these people give him credit for. Granted, he had made some pretty major mistakes but the guy learned from them - clearly - and nothing he'd done was any worse than the average non-celebrity. Chad simply had the misfortune of being famous; therefore his life was an open book.

Christian, on the other hand, was such a privately secluded person there was very little information floating around about his personal life on the world wide web. In fact, he went out of his way to keep any of those people he took home with him secret, and that was really saying something since Christian had a fairly decent sized conquest list. He'd actually been completely prepared to continue adding to that list but you never know when something might happen to change your plans. Like hooking up with Chad for instance. Christian was fairly certain that ten out of ten people asked would _never_ consider them a likely couple. Which was probably why they worked, oddly enough.

It didn't explain how Christian felt about the man though. He was actually pretty sure there was _nothing_ to explain that. Besides the fact that it simply felt natural to let him sleep against his chest on the flight to Oregon, even if the flight attendant gave him the most ridiculously sappy smile - that kind of reminded him of the J's and how they'd been looking at them toward the end of their trip. It also made it alright to carry Chad's bag when the man insisted on Christian getting him an ice cream cone - even if they'd yet to have lunch. But it did _not_ make it okay for Christian to have to pay for everything. He was an equalities type of man. You pay for dinner; I'll pay for the movie and popcorn. It evened out. Chad was going to have to learn this lesson.

Christian started the teaching by sliding into the car behind the driver's seat the moment the valet stepped out, leaving Chad to stand awkwardly by the man who was still holding out his hand for a tip. At this Christian couldn't help smirking as he adjusted his sunglasses and settled back into the cool leather of his Ranger. It'd been too long. He missed his car. When Chad slid into the passenger seat beside him, Christian could tell he was less then pleased and he laughed, head falling back into the leather before he shifted the car into drive. "Equalities Murray. You'll learn it."

Chad new the moment he decided to get on the plane that he was in for a roller coaster ride. He hadn't been wrong about that. Christian was a mystery to him. Sometimes, though it was rare, the man was tender and gentle leaving Chad almost breathless and then there was the _other_ Christian. Everything about Christian was powerful; the curve of his muscles, the low rumble of his voice, the way his eyes could bore straight into Chad's soul in a moment and leave him fidgeting and nervous. The only problem was that Chad didn't quite have a grasp yet what Christian had in mind for him. He knew that they were going to _try_ the relationship thing. Chad shuddered every time he thought about the first tabloid photo of them together - maybe caught while touching one another because _dammit_ Chad found it next to impossible to keep his hands off Christian.

"You tryin' to make a point there Kane?" Chad clicked his seatbelt into place, "and here I was gonna pay for the ice cream in sexual favours later..." he stared out the front window.

A harsh chuckle fell from Christian's lips, "As if you need an excuse for sexual favours." His eyes slid over to Chad from behind his sunglasses, back to the road a moment later. "Frankly I'm surprised you've gone so long keepin' your hands to yourself," he dragged his tongue across his lips, casting glances at Chad every few blocks. There was something strange, warm and pleasant, sparking up in him as he considered bringing Chad into his home, all the ways they could be together.

Chad barked out a laugh, "wanna make a wager? It'll be _damn_ easy for me to keep my hands off you." Chad looked out the passenger window with a slight grin on his face. The other wagers they'd made had always worked out rather well for him.

"You think so? Because you understand I'd be allowed to touch _you_ as much as I want," Christian directed the car into his neighbourhood, smirk bright along his lips. "I'm betting you'll cave within five minutes, ten tops," he shifted in his seat, hand falling low on the steering wheel while the other slid across the seat and wrapped along Chad's thigh, between his legs, fingers running along the inseam of his denims.

Still staring out the window Chad sucked his bottom lip into his mouth for a few seconds then cleared his throat, "what do I win... you know when I _don't_ touch you for more than five minutes." Even as he said it he let his legs fall open and shifted closer, as far as the seat belt would let him.

Christian withdrew his hand, curling it around the steering wheel, and settling back in his seat. "No fair to do it in the car, limited... room," he hummed thoughtfully for a few minutes as they approached his house. "When _I_ win, I get to handcuff you to my bed and give you a thorough welcome to my home greeting. On the off chance that you win?" Christian pulled the vehicle into his driveway, unbuckling his seat belt and leaning over to whisper in Chad's ear. "I think I'll still handcuff you to the bed. But maybe I'll let you choose what I do to you once I've got you there." Christian dragged his tongue up the side of Chad's neck before pushing open the driver's side door and climbing out.

Letting his head fall to the head rest Chad closed his eyes for a few moments then reached out for the door handle. Christian was going to be the _death_ of him. He slid out of the truck and met Christian at the back to grab his stuff while he watched the long line of the other man's body as he leaned in the pull his duffel out. Swinging his own bags up onto his shoulders he waited until Christian locked up the truck and followed him up the front path to the door. The house was modern, squared off with curved edges kind of like a different interpretation of an adobe house. Chad should have known that the house would reflect the man, nothing over the top, subtle, interesting..."You pick this out all on your own, Kane?"

Lips quirking up slightly, Christian glanced over at Chad, "I did. Why? You proud of me?" He chuckled, head shaking slightly as they reached the front door and he slid his key into the lock. Christian pushed his shoulder into the door as the stepped forward, eyes flickering around the front entry. "Good to be home."

Suddenly nervous, Chad dropped his bags just inside the door and ran a hand over his hair. "Any strange pets I should know about? Snakes, lizards? Anything lurking around that will bite me... other than you I mean?" He grinned and shuffled his feet around then bent over to yank his shoes off. Chad knew nothing, and was starting to wonder about his own sanity. Wondering what the _hell_ he was doing.

"Nope, travel too much to keep pets," Christian shrugged and carried his guitar over to the living room, laying the case across his coffee table. As he dragged down the zipper of the case, his eyes lifted to Chad, watching him take in the living space. He wondered what Chad thought of the place, what it must be like to see it through his eyes. "Not what you expected?" He asked, lifting the guitar from the case and carrying it across the living into the small studio he'd set up in what should have been the formula dining room.

Trailing along behind Christian, Chad’s eyes moved over the room. There were a lot of photos; Christian with friends, shots of him on stage, old black and white shots of musicians. Chad leaned against the studio door frame and looked around, "I like it here - it's _you_." He moved back out to the living room and looked at the books on one of the shelves, grazing his fingers along the spines. "You read a lot huh?"

"I do," Christian nodded, setting the guitar on the empty stand before walking through to the kitchen. "Want a beer or something?" He called over his shoulder, tugging open the fridge and pulling out a couple of beers. He pulled off the tops of both, heading back into the living room and offering the beer to Chad. "See anything interesting?"

"Beer's good," Chad pulled the top of one book forward so he could read the title, "Deep Blues: A Musical and Cultural History of the Mississippi Delta, you sure you're datin... uh... sleeping with the right guy?" He pushed the book back and walked over to grab his beer.

Christian couldn't resist the slight smirk as he set a beer on the coffee table for Chad and dropped down onto the couch, bringing his own bottle to his lips. "I'm sure you have your own unpredictable moments," he shrugged and extended his arm across the back of the couch. "Are we dating Murray?" He asked, arching his eyebrows when Chad glanced back at him.

"Just to be clear, has that no-touching bet started yet?" Chad's eyes were locked on Christian's.

Silently considering him, Christian nodded, "I'll let you know when it's started. We'll have to be official. Time it and all."

"Okay. Truth? I don't know what we're doing? Do you?" He walked over and settled on the couch in front of Christian's outstretched arm leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs.

Christian reached out and laid his palm flat on Chad's back, sliding down. "No. Can't say I do," he shrugged slightly and slid his hand up into Chad's hair, threading his fingers through the silky blond. "Guess we can figure it out. Or not bother with labels. I don't know."

Nodding slowly, Chad leaned back and mumbled "guess so." He turned and looked at Christian's profile, "what do you usually do when you get home from a trip?" Chad felt like he'd been cut adrift. It was different being together at Jared and Jensen's. Chad knew how things worked at their place; there was always the diversion of Jared. Here, Chad was on his own. Briefly, he found himself wondering if Christian would find him a little boring now they were alone.

"Relax?" Christian shrugged and tipped his beer back, continuing to stroke Chad's hair before massage his neck. "What do you usually do?"

There was no point in trying to hide his nerves, Chad didn't seem to have much like hiding things from Christian. "I normally just relax," he shrugged, "having a bit of trouble doing that right now. Do I have a room or am I...?" He turned to glance back at Christian's face.

"Do you want your own room?" Christian asked quietly, pulling his hand back and dropping it to his thigh. He didn't really understand Chad, of course he never really understood Chad but sometimes the man really confused him. Then again, Christian had been gay a lot longer than Chad had been fooling around with him and he couldn't quite grasp what that might be like for him.

Slamming his beer down on the table Chad turned quickly and swung his leg up so he was kneeling on either side of Christian's lap. "No, I don't," he sighed and sank down on the man's lap molding his body to Christian's. "Don't spill your beer on me," he mumbled against Christian's neck as his arms slid around his lover's back. "Just don't want things to be ... different now we're here," his lips moved against the stubble below Christian's jaw line.

"Not gonna be," Christian insisted, pulling the beer bottle up and draining the contents completely, throat working as he swallowed everything and set the bottle to the side. He curled his arms around Chad's back, forearms rubbing along his sides and sliding up. "You're gettin' all thinky on me Murray, next thing you know you're gonna turn into Padalecki or somethin'." He grinned up into Chad's face, wetting his lips.

"Nah, one Padalecki is enough." Chad studied Christian's blue eyes, the way the lashes curled just enough, always with that heavy-lidded look that made the guy sex on legs. "Guess it's too early to go to bed," Chad couldn't help shift of the man's lap, _just_ a little. I should.. text Jared let him know we go here alive. I think he was worried we might kill each other or get arrested or something." Actually, traveling with Chris had been much easier than Chad had expected, the guy had even let Chad sleep on him. Jared never did _that_.

Christian laughed and let his hands slide along Chad's thighs. "He should know by now that you two together is a much deadlier combination then you and I. Then only way we'd kill each other is by..." Christian's eyes widened slightly and he let his fingers slide across Chad's crotch. "Is there anyone you need to call? Let them know you're here? Or... at least not coming home for awhile?"

"A while..." Chad echoed as he twisted his hips from side to side. "I can call Jared later... he's probably _busy_ with his new boyfriend anyway." He laughed softly and slid off Christian's lap tucking under the man's arm; he pulled his leg up over Christian's crotch and rubbed gently. "You got anyone to call..." he whispered, "tell 'em you're back?"

Rolling his hips slightly up into the touch, Christian shook his head before letting it drop to the side to peer at Chad. "Nah, no one to call," he edged forward, brushing his lips down Chad's jaw line. "So what do you think? Five minutes without touching me? Is such a thing even possible?"

"N..no problem," Chad slide slowly off the couch and stood, adjusting his jeans as his cheeks flushed a little pink. Picking up his beer he steps around the coffee table and sits in the armchair. "Easy," his voice is a bit shakier than he'd like but whatever. He's far enough away that he can't touch Christian, 'the bet's half won already."

Christian smirked and pushed up, walking over to Chad and dropping to his knees before him. "No rules against me touching," he reminded and laid his hands on Chad's thighs, curling around the flesh and pushing up. His thumbs dragged along the zipper, pressing firm and sliding up. His eyes narrowed slightly as he stared into Chad's eyes, tugging down on the zipper and pulling it down.

Chad knew the moment Christian kneeled in front of him he would lose the bet. Funny how it didn't seem like a loss to want to give in after thirty seconds and run his fingers through that hair. " _Fuck_ , you're a..." his teeth clamped down on his tongue, hard as he fumbled around beside the chair to put his beer down.

"Jesus Chad, I don't think you're gonna make it," Christian murmured and rested his nose just inside Chad's leg. Even through the jeans Christian could feel Chad's muscles quivering as he slid up slowly, spreading Chad's legs with a hand on each thigh. "So what exactly am I?" He asked into Chad's crotch, pushing his lips into the denim.

Sucking his stomach in Chad shifted away from the heat of Christian's breath. Even through denim he could feel it for _Christ's sake_. "You're... a very nice guy," Chad grunted through gritted teeth. His hands were clenched so tightly on the arms of the chair that his knuckles had gone white.

Christian chuckled and wrapped his hands under Chad's legs tugging him slightly down to give Christian more access to the area. He looked up, eyes locking on Chad's face as his hands rose and finished unfastening the buttons, roughly tugging down Chad's jeans just enough see the hard line of Chad's cock in his boxers. "Gee thanks Murray," Christian smirked, leaning down and mouthing over the crown of Chad's cock through his boxers. "Good to know I'm so nice," he murmured before repeating the motion, sucking open mouth kisses into the cotton clad shaft.

Chad's arms were shaking with the strain of trying to keep them on the arms of the chair, his hips rocked forward into Christian's mouth; it was a crazy-good sensation, the hot pressure and the friction of the cotton. He slid down further in the chair so he could widen his legs, given Christian _much_ more room.

Sliding back just enough to move, Christian wrapped his fingers around the elastic of Chad's boxers and lifted up, tugging down just enough to free that hard shaft. "I have to admit I'm surprised Murray," Christian mused, leaning in to swipe his tongue along the crown, briefly over the slit. "You're showing a surprising amount of restraint," Christian's fingers hovered in the inch or two of air above Chad's cock, close enough to feel the radiating heat but no enough to touch.

" _Jesus Christ_ Christian," The cool air hit Chad's fiery skin at the exact time that Christian's tongue did and then he could see those rough fingers close enough to touch but holding back. He pushed up off the chair and his fingers let go moving automatically to tangle in that long, thick hair. "D..Don't care - you win." Chad was pretty sure he would have slid right off the chair if Christian's body wasn't holding him up. And _lost_ the bet? Whatever.

"Figured I would," Christian smirked and let his fingers curl around the base of Chad's cock, holding him steady for him to slide his lips over the crown, sucking roughly. He let a large dollop of saliva run down the heated flesh, spreading it between his fingers a moment later and dragging it up and down Chad's shaft. Christian lurched forward, body pressing into Chad's, growling into his ear. "We'll get to the handcuff bit later. Now though, we're going to switch places and you're going to ride me right here. Sound like a plan?" He dragged his teeth over the flesh lobe before dropping his head and biting roughly at his neck, sucking the sting away a moment later.

"Don't be smug," Chad managed to groan out, "i w..won't put out." Yeah, even Chad couldn't believe that. His hands were moving, desperately trying to get Christian's over shirt off, _God_ the man wore way too many clothes for someone with his body. He threw the shirt then slid down under Christian's body; he nipped at Christian's nipple as his lips moved past it, nuzzled into the flesh of the man's belly, all the time Chad's hands were fumbling with the button and zipper on his lover's jeans. By the time he hit the floor he was half chuckling and turned over to bit Christian's ass firmly before the man had a chance to sit down. "I'm bendy..." he growled.

"I'll be sure to remember that," Christian's voice was deep and rough with arousal and he spun, dropping down into the chair. His hips arched up to meet Chad's hands as the man worked on the fastens, tugged the material down. "Keep 'em on," he pushed his legs together to stop Chad from pulling Christian's jeans down any further then his thighs. Christian shoved down Chad's pants, smirking as the blond fumbled with his shoes and the material until his lower half was naked. "Wanna fuck you with my pants on," Christian growled as he rid himself of his undershirt and repositioned on the chair, curling his fingers around his cock and stroking lazily.

Growling softly Chad climbed back onto the chair kneeling up so his cock slid against Christian's chest as he rocked against his slowly. Hooking his fingers under the hem of his t-shirt he pulled it up and off over his head then sat back down on Christian's strong thighs as he trailed his hands down through his hair and across his shoulders. The heat from the other man's rigid shaft was burning into Chad's and without thought he started rolling his hips forward and back sliding the flesh together.

Christian moaned, head falling back into the cushion as his hips moved up eagerly into Chad's. No one had ever reduced him to such a writhing, quivering wreck like Chad could so easily. " _Christ_ ," he dragged his fingers down Chad's chest, curling into his hip bones roughly. "I want you," Christian tugged Chad down into him, crushing their lips together. His hips continued to rock up, desperate to be buried in tight muscle.

Chad pulled out of Christian's grip and slid off his lap padding over to his bag where it sat by the front door. He laughed softly thinking of the amusement of security at finding the tiny bottle of lube that he had slipped in the outside pocket of his duffel - hell - with Christian he never knew when he might need it. He twisted the top off as he walked over to stand behind Christian's chair; Chad leaned forward and nuzzled into the older man's hair and whispered, "how bad you want me?"

"You gotta ask?" Christian growled, stroking himself with one hand, letting the other curl behind him to reach for Chad. "Damnit Chad," he hissed, thumb smearing along the slit.

Pushing Christian's hair back from his neck Chad leaned down and ghosted his lips over the sensitive flesh below the man's ear then bit down hard on the corded muscles in his neck, dragging his teeth back and letting the skin go. Chad let his free hand move down Christian's chest, palm sliding across his nipples then back up to trail fingers light up the length of his neck.

"You're lucky I like you so much," Christian growled, body arching up into Chad's touch. "Otherwise I'd bend you over the arm of this chair and fuck you like you want it," Christian tilted his head toward Chad brushing his lips over the nearest patch of skin.

"All talk..." Chad whispered against Christian's ear then sucked gently on the lobe, his fingers sliding across his lover's smooth lips.

"That a dare Murray?" Christian sucked Chad's finger into his mouth, curling a hand around his wrist and pulling him in until he had all of the digit in his mouth. His fist slid around his cock, hips rolling against the cushion. Christian was very used to being the dominant, and though he'd never admit it out loud, he loved Chad's ability to completely submit. He made it a game, a test of limits, and probably because he'd never been with another guy before, it made it that much better.

Chad pulled away, collecting his thoughts, his body shuddering then he walked around to the front of the chair again and kneeled down in front of Christian. Wriggling his way back in between the man's legs he poured some lube into his hand and slicked his fingers up and down Christian's cock, fingers lingering over the head and curling around the crown.

A shaky breath fell from his lips as his hand curled around Chad's neck, clenching into the muscle, hips rocking up into the touch. "Now you're just... being a tease," Christian exhaled slowly and met his eyes. "I want my cock. In your ass. _Now_ ," he growled the words, deeper than he had ever heard his voice. His hand on Chad's neck tightened and his lips quirked up slightly.

Without a moment’s hesitation Chad climbed up onto the chair kneeling over Christian's lap again, leaning to press lips against lips, slide tongue past tongue he reached down to guide Christian's cock back until the head was pressing against the puckered flesh at Chad's entrance. His hips swung back and forth slowly, teasing himself and his lover.

For being relatively new to this gay sex thing, Chad was outrageously, ridiculously mind blowing sometimes. Like now for instance, when Christian could feel the overly sensitive flesh at the crown of his cock along Chad's entrance. He thrust his tongue roughly into Chad's mouth, curling one hand around Chad's arm, the other still clutching the silk blond hair. His hips moved in slow circles, urging that heat to fall over him like he so desperately wanted.

Thigh muscles quivering with strain, Chad lowered himself onto Christian's stiff cock; inch by _hot_ inch Chad let himself sit back. He went as slowly as he could, eyes closed, head thrown back as he trembled. It only burned slightly, it hadn't been that long since Christian had been fucking him into the mattress in Jensen's guest room; it was the fullness he loved, the sensation of Christian everywhere around him, on him, _in_ him. "Chris," he murmured against his lover's lips, tongue slipping across the man's bottom lip.

Christian sucked in Chad's tongue, pulling at it slowly as his hips shifted beneath the man. Being connected like this was better than anything he'd ever felt and his hands fell to Chad's hips, rocking him up slightly and releasing him, letting him slide back down slowly. A low moan fell into the kiss, Chad sucking it up greedily before Christian pulled back with a gasp. "Jesus Chad," he hissed out his lover's name, thrown by heat rippling through his body. Chad was more impossibly tight then he should be considering how active their sex life was over the past two weeks and his hips jerked up for more even though there was really no room to move.

When his muscles finally gave up, Chad sank on Christian's cock and groaned out a sound that even surprised him for a few moments before he was completely lost to the sensation of his lover inside him. There was no point anymore in Chad trying to hold back his sounds, his movements, anything, they _both_ knew what Christian did to him. They both knew how much he liked being fucked. He fell against Christian's body nosing his way into the spicy smell of his hair and passing his tongue up and down the man's neck in long strokes. Snaking his arms around his lover's neck Chad sighed and settled himself, it was crazy, he could stay here forever.

"You feel so good around me," Christian groaned, head falling back as Chad's muscles seemed to clench and unclench constantly around him. For a minute he ever considered the fact that he could probably get off just like this, just from Chad clenching his ass over and over around him. Then his fingers once more found their nitch along Chad's hips and he pulled him up slowly, hissing as the cool air of the room shot across his cock. Just as slowly he controlled Chad's glide down, shifting forward until he could slant his lips over Chad's once more. It was certainly slower than they were used to but still so blindingly hot, Christian had to suck in quick breaths through his nose to keep from completely losing it.

"Chris... faster..." Chad squirmed slightly in Christian's grasp. Everything was so new to him, the sensations, _fuck_ \- Chad had no idea how Christian managed to have so much control. More than once it had made Chad feel a little messed up, like he was broken somehow. Pushing down, he tried to sink himself further onto Christian as he nipped and sucked at the man's neck, hands moving up through his long hair.

Christian tightened his hold on Chad's hips and moved him fast, flexing his muscles as he dragged Chad nearly all the way up and slammed him down with such force it caused them both to moan loudly. He continued the jerky motions, meeting them with quick upward thrusts, until his arms ached and dropped them to the side, letting Chad set his own pace. It felt like he couldn't get deep enough, like there would never be a _deep enough_. Growling low in his throat, he shoved at Chad's chest, lurching up at the same time and sending them both crashing down into the carpet. Chad huffed out a surprised breath but Christian only gave him a moment to recover before he had his legs up nearly to his chest and he slammed into his lover with deep, quick thrusts.

Chad's lungs emptied when he hit the floor and his heart sped up even more when Christian slammed back into him, fucking him so hard Chad figured he would be bruised, would ache in places he didn't know existed. It was like an overload of all Chad's circuits, Christian's hair dragging across his chest and neck, his cock filling his ass so much it almost hurt, Chad's own shaft heavy and swollen as it was pressed into the flesh of his belly. After a few moments, Chad managed to get his hands to move to Christian's arms so he could feel the muscles tightening and rippling as he thrust hard against Chad's body.

The carpet shifted beneath Chad's back and Christian flinched slightly, wondering if the man would have rug burn later. He was too consumed with the feeling though and thrust harder into Chad, pulling them both toward their release. Each slam forward made his bones shake, the force driving Chad harder and deeper into the carpet. "Fuck Chad," he growled, feeling his muscles beginning to tense in the tell tale sign of his impending orgasm. "Come for me," he grunted in between thrusts, knowing he'd hit the moment Chad did and those muscles clenched around him.

Chad's body arched up off the floor like a bow, muscles corded tight in his neck. It felt like every nerve ending in his body was firing at once and the sound of Christian's voice ricocheted through Chad's mind. He could feel his tight muscles clenching around his lover's cock and he came; Chad's release shot up his body, smearing against his flesh, warm and slick. His cock pulsed hard, his hips aching under Christian's weight, ass clenching tight and hard. He keened out the most embarrassing sounds, shifting around under Christian like his flesh was on fire.

Sure enough, the muscles clenching around Christian's cock rippled and shot through him and half a dozen quick, rough thrusts later he was following suit. With each long pulse of his release he rocked down into Chad, moaning his lover's name through a long, thick drawl. When it was over he collapsed down onto the man's chest, body shaking with the aftermath, arms and legs quivering from overuse. "Jesus _fuck_ ," he groaned, pulling in deep lung full's of air in attempts to regulate his heart's rapid flutter.

"Chris..." Chad groaned and tried to push Christian's body to the side, "my back." His skin was stinging even as he tried to get his panting under control. He pursed his lips and blew out a few breaths..."you nearly kill me," he gasped, "every fuckin' time."

Christian's chuckle was rough as he pulled out of Chad with a slight hiss and fell the side. "You're a big boy, you can handle it," he grinned and rolled slightly, propping himself up on an elbow to stare down at Chad's flushed face. "Besides, what's the fun in fuckin' if you don't have any marks to show for it?"

Chad shivered - it wasn't the cold - it was that crazy snapping feeling in his heart just like little rubber bands were going off and what he wanted to do was curl his fingers around Christian's cheek, kiss him so slowly it would feel like time was stopping, wanted him to just stay there right beside him. But ... he didn't, Chad had no idea what he and Christian were doing but he was pretty sure that anything that _tender_ would either get him mocked or his ass-kicked. So, he thumped Christian with a fist against his chest. "Didn't need rug burn," he muttered thickly averting his gaze.

"Is it bad?" Christian asked softly, worried for a moment that he'd actually hurt Chad in a not so good way. "Let me see," he rolled the man over easily and stared down at the red back. The skin was a little puffy, and fairly flushed with color, but there wasn't any blood or anything and it looked like it might be tender for awhile but not unbearable. With a faintly amused smile he laid his palm against the skin and shook his head, "Not too bad. Just no more carpet sex, okay?"

"Another house rule?" Chad closed his eyes enjoying the sensation of Christian's rough palm against his stinging skin.

Chuckling softly, Christian leaned forward and pressed a kiss at the base of Chad's neck. "Yeah, officially." The action of a simple kiss had his face scrunching together slightly. It didn't feel like it was just a kiss. It felt like he was saying something through the gentle press of lips, though he had no idea what it could be.

Now Chad's breathing had returned to normal he relaxed, tilting his head forward and soaking up the feeling of Christian's lips. "Sometimes..." he started, _Jesus_ , sometimes Christian scared the _shit_ out of him. He felt like he'd do anything for the guy, it was the crazy way he felt when Christian touched him, like some sort of electricity jumped between them. Sometimes, Chad still had moments when he couldn't understand how this had happened; how he had gone from petite blond beauty queens to Kane. The problem was that he wasn't sure what he would do when he had to go back home. Things were different now. How do you tell someone that?

"Sometimes..." Christian echoed, letting it hang out there in case Chad wanted to fill in the silence. When it seemed like he had nothing to add, Christian sighed softly and pushed up, climbing off the floor and pulling up his pants to refasten them. He headed for the kitchen and ran a rag under warm water, coming back a moment later and standing over Chad. "Here," he offered the rag, resisting the urge to kneel beside him and wipe the drying come away himself. Just as Chad was rolling back onto his back and reaching out for the rag, Christian lost the internal battle and he knelt beside him. Keeping his eyes fixed on the flat planes of Chad's stomach, he cleaned up what was left of Chad's come before pulling back and rising. "So you hungry? I know a great pub not too far from here, we could walk," he called over his shoulder as he headed toward the kitchen once more.

Chad had bitten down so hard on his bottom lip while Christian was rubbing the cloth over his body that he could taste the coppery flavour of blood when he finally sat up. "Pub’s fine." He crawled forward and gathered up his clothes getting dressed slowly, only getting up when he had to tug his jeans up. He hissed quietly when his t-shirt rubbed over the tender skin on his back. "Can I throw my stuff in your... in the bedroom?" He padded over to the kitchen quietly and stood there in the hallway not quite knowing what to do with himself.

This was the first time they really had to deal with the post sex situation. All the other times had been either at night, where they generally just crashed, or a quickie during the day in which they were getting dressed to head after Jared or Jensen not long after they were done. If Christian really thought about it, it was probably the first time he'd ever slept with someone in his house that actually _meant_ something to him. Whatever it was. "Sure, I didn't give you the tour so I guess I will now. Obviously this is the kitchen," he gestured around, "help yourself to anything any time." He headed for the living room, pausing to grab Chad's bag and waiting for the man to get his carry on. "Of course you're now familiar with the living room. That's my impromptu studio," he gestured toward the room and led Chad up a short flight of stairs to the second floor. "There's a bathroom by the studio too. In case you're wondering. And here we have the guest room, guest bath, and..." Christian pushed up the door to his large master suite with attached bathroom and view overlooking the ocean in the distance. "My room. Put your stuff anywhere, unpack or whatever. I'm gonna get my bags."

Chad put his bag down and perched on the edge of the bed, bounced a couple of times then pushed up to walk over and look out the window. The view was amazing; the sky was clear and the ocean was blue and white far off in the distance. He'd like to go there, surf, he huffed out a laugh. He didn't even know if Christian could surf. Chad scrubbed both hands vigorously on his face for a few moments and turned back to his duffel tugging it over to the corner of the room where he thought it might be out of the way. Tugging his shirt off he folded it and set it beside his bag, unzipped the bag and searched for a softer t-shirt. When he found one he yanked it out and walked over to the mirror on the bathroom door and tried to get a look at his back. He was still twisting around trying to look at the rash when he heard Christian walking back in the room. Blushing he moved forward quickly and pulled the shirt down over his head.

"So..." Christian said softly, dropping his bags on the bed and unzipping them. It probably would have been a little smarter to figure out what went after the 'so' before he started the sentence because now he was floundering around for something. "Should we... do you want to... talk? About stuff? Are there things that should be said?" He glanced up at Chad for a moment before flipping his bag over and dumping it out on the mattress, sorting through for the dirty clothes and tossing them toward the laundry basket.

Hopping up on to the edge of the bed Chad watched Christian's face carefully unsure of how to answer, "like house rules? Don't touch your CD's? Don't leave my shit around?" He scratched his forehead and fiddled with one of the t-shirts that Christian had set aside. "Just let me know, I'll keep out of your way. You probably have work to do while I'm here, yeah? When you want me to get out of here? I should book a flight home I guess." He looked down at his hands and realized he couldn't stop fidgeting.

"Well uh, no that wasn't really what I meant," Christian shook his head, glancing over at Chad for a moment before once more sorting through the clothes. "I have some tracks to listen to, fine tune, probably need to do some writing, things like that but... you can..." Christian shrugged and picked up his bag of toiletries, carrying it to the bathroom before returning to the pile of clean clothes on the bed to start folding. "What did you want to do? How long would you like to stay?"

"What did you mean?" Chad blinked a few times his foot twitching back and forth. He snatched up one of Christian's t-shirts and started folding it so he had something to focus on.

Christian added another clean shirt to the folded pile and glanced over at Chad. "I mean, how long can you put up with me? How long until you've gotten me out of your system and go back to being straight?" He really hadn't meant the words to come out that way and he sighed, adding softly, "Because if I had my say you wouldn't be leaving for a _long_ time."

"Go back to being _straight_? Wow." That kind of hurt. Chad knew that he hadn't talked about his feelings much, hell, he had a lot of trouble doing that on a good day - but - it wasn't like he'd denied that he was _with_ the guy. He fell asleep on him on the plane, held his hand in the airport. "That's what you think I'm doin'. Taking a _vacation_ from being straight." He hopped off the bed and walked over to his bag making a big production out of looking for something even though there was nothing he needed. He just didn't want Christian to see how much that question had stung.

Sighing softly again, Christian dropped down onto his bed and stared at Chad's back. "What am I supposed to think? Does it look like I know what I'm doin' here? Because I sure as hell don't," he studied Chad's back before clearing his throat. "Chad. Come here."

Turning slowly, Chad glanced at Christian then stood up and moved over to stand in front of the other man. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he looked down at Christian's knees, "yeah?"

"Clearly, we're both shit at this, whatever it is," Christian reached out for Chad, spreading his legs wider for the man to step between. He let his hands slide up Chad's chest and cup around his neck, fingers locking together. "I've never done the relationship thing. You... I don't even know. And so we're probably gonna have some fucked up moments but I want... I'd like you to stay. For as long as you want, or can. I don't have any filming commitments until Leverage starts up again in a couple months. There's a few gigs you can come or not. No pressure. But I'd like you too. Okay?" It was probably the closet he was going to get to telling Chad that he felt anything for him and he hoped the man picked up on the underlying, unspoken meaning.

"I think I should probably go home... after a week or so - you know, sort my shit out." Chad stepped back a little, "I'd like to hear you play, go to a gig I mean - that'd be good." What he didn't want was for Christian to realized how _absolutely_ hopeless he was at stuff like this. Chad had a knack for being able to alienate anyone who spent enough time with him. He figured he couldn't do too much damage in a week and hoped that maybe Chris might even invite him back.

Christian could feel the disappointment fluttering through him but he shrugged it off, nodding and dropping his hands down to his thighs. "Okay. Well I don't have any gigs for a few weeks. So. Anyway. The pub? I'm starving. And you were going to call Jared," he pushed up from the bed, side stepping to resume sorting through his clean clothes. He was fairly uncomfortable with the way his insides were churning and he wanted to go back to having a good time, to ignoring all this emotion shit.

Chad sighed, "I could just... I'll text him." He gestured toward the door, "I'll go down and get my shoes on... I'm ready whenever you are." He turned and left the room quickly. He had figured that he might get a little bit of an argument from Christian when he said a week but then he'd known going into this that Chris had a bit of a fly-by-night reputation. Once he reached the living room he picked up his jacket and searched through the pockets until he found his phone. He sank down onto the couch and fiddled with his contacts menu until he found Jared and started a text message.

 _ChadMM_ : At Kane's. U think I'm crazy? how long shud I sta?

He took a couple breaths then hit send and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Leaning back on the couch he waited quietly for Christian to come back down trying _really_ hard not to think about... anything.

Only moments after Chad had left the room, while Christian was slipping into his boots, his phone rang. It was Steve and Christian considered not answering it but they were due to go on a brief mini tour in a few weeks and it probably was related to that. He was still on the phone as he reached the landing for the first floor, eyes flickering over to Chad, lips quirking up slightly. "Carlson? Shut your trap. I gotta go so if there's somethin' important get to it." He laughed when his friend cheered something about seeing some action and it being _about damn time._ When Steve began pestering him for details, Christian flipped the phone shut and shoved it into his pocket, reaching out for his coat. "You ready?"

"Yup," Chad pushed up off the couch just as his phone chimed. Yanking it out of his pocket he unlocked the screen and clicked on the new message.

 _Jare:_ u were always crazy. sta as long as he'll let u. man's a saint.

Chad rolled his eyes and slid the phone back in his pocket as he walked back toward the door.

"Padalecki issues?" Christian asked, tugging open the door and gesturing for Chad to walk out.

"That guy is just one _big_ issue." Chad walked out into the late afternoon sun a slight smile on his face. "How far is this pub?"

Christian laughed and led them down the sidewalk, "Couple of blocks and around the corner. It's owned by this gay couple. They've been together for thirty years and they're ridiculously sappy. Think Jared and Jensen in thirty years and add a few more scoops of sugar. That's them. But it's great food and they have karaoke every Thursday night so I'm not complaining." He smiled over at Chad and for one moment entertained the idea of taking his hand. He wasn't certain that Chad would like that though so he settled for letting his arms dangle at his sides.

"Can we..." Chad held out his hand, "or will we get our asses kicked by rednecks?" He smiled his crooked smile and peer over at Christian. It occurred to him briefly that it should be freaking him out a little that he wanted to walk down the damn street holding hands with a guy, but, hell, he was on vacation. That's what he would keep telling himself anyway.

"This is a pretty gay friendly community," Christian grinned at Chad and laced their fingers together, tugging the blond into his side. "In fact, there's a pretty good possibility I'm the closest thing to a redneck here. So... whatever that says," he laughed and squeezed Chad's hand against his. "You ever been to Oregon?"

"Few times," Chad had been lots of places he just couldn't necessarily remember what he'd done all the time. "Was drunk on a road trip I think. It's nice here though. I don't know where the hell I'm gonna end up. I guess it depends on what job I get next. You think maybe I should go back to modeling? That was good work before." Chad was a bit of a drifter when it came to employment. He didn't mind acting but it was kind of limiting in terms of travel. Jared and Jensen were perfect examples of that; they worked six days a week sometimes and seemed to spend a lot of their down time staring blankly at the TV because they were exhausted.

"I think it never hurts to take some time off, do some things you really want to," Christian smiled over at Chad, enjoying the idea of a normal conversation not laced with anything he didn't quite get. "Maybe you'll get a great part offered to you in a few months. If not then maybe you can try the modeling again, or something else entirely. It's... probably nice to be off your show now huh? I mean, with Sophia on the set and all?" Christian glanced over at Chad, not sure where the man stood on discussing his ex wife since before last summer he and Chad had probably shared only a handful of conversations despite their mutual friends.

"She was pretty cool - really should have treated me worse than she did. I fucked that up royally - got a bit caught up in the moment." He shook his head and rubbed his thumb over Christian's. "I make some shitty decisions sometimes." He could admit that much. Chad was pretty sure he wasn't done making shitty decisions but he felt pretty good about deciding to come and spend some more time with Christian. He felt like he wanted to get to know the guy which was about the lamest thing he'd found himself thinking in ages.

Nodding, Christian wet his lips before agreeing aloud, "Tell me about it. I've made some real craptastic ones myself." He laughed and gestured to the pub coming up only two blocks up. "That's it there. I can smell the grill already." He inhaled deeply to prove him point.

Chad was a little nervous. The idea that this was a place that Christian went all the time was making Chad's skin crawl a little. People were going to know Christian which meant they'd be curious about Chad and wonder ... or maybe they'd just think he was the next in a long line of guys. "You bring lots of guys here?" He cringed internally.

Christian shook his head slowly, eying Chad curiously. "No. I like this place. It's not somewhere I want to parade my... one night stands you know? I've only ever taken Carlson here oh and Ackles once last summer," as they approached the door Christian tugged it open, leaning slightly against it to stare at Chad. "They do know I'm gay though."

Smiling, Chad looked into those blue eyes again, "good I can hold your hand while we're inside too." He brushed past Christian and tugged him through the door making him stumble forwards.

They settled into a booth in the back but that didn't stop Christian from drawing the attention of the two owners who often worked the bar, Mark and Gabriel. As soon as Chad and he had ordered, their hands sliding together on the surface top, the two older men brought over some beers and made a bigger fuss about things then Christian would have liked. They practically fawned over Chad, ruffling his hair and patting his cheeks, until Chad's face was flushed with color and Christian was laughing and shooing them off.

Over dinner they talked a little more about what Chad might do with his life now that he was done filming One Tree Hill. Christian told him a little about the mini tour he and Steve were planning in the next month or so. And by the time their food had arrived it felt like all the awkward tension from before had drifted away. Even though the relocating from their semi-comfortableness in Vancouver to here at his home had shaken things between them, Christian could already tell it was getting back on the right track. He supposed it was the down side to being two people who just didn't talk about feelings and such, whenever they tried to get anything out it came out wrong and disjointed.

By the time they had paid the bill the sun was setting and they walked back to Christian's place hand in hand, quietly watching the sunset. Both knew the moment was far too romantic for their tastes, but neither complained. And both secretly liked it anyway. As they approached Christian's front walk he leaned in and whispered softly into Chad's ear, "I believe I won some bet regarding handcuffs?"

This has Chad's eyes darkening slightly and Christian smirked as the blond practically dragged him inside.


	2. Chapter 2

"Take your coat off, shoes and socks too," Christian advised a moment after he'd locked the front door, turning to Chad with a warm smile. He pulled off his own coat, hanging it on the rack and slipping off his boots to rest beneath it, socks falling on top them a moment later. Chad was practically bouncing beside him and Christian couldn't help chuckling, stepping forward to lay a hand on the small of Chad's back once the man had removed his coat. "How's your back feeling? Any less carpet burned?"

"Sore, don't care though." His voice was husky already. Just thinking about what was ahead of him had sent his pulse rate through the roof. He hopped around on one foot then the other as he got out of his shoes and tugged his socks off. Licking his lips he stepped closer to Christian, "you taking a shirt off?" As far as Chad was concerned there was always too much clothing on Christian. Not only was the guy hot, but he had a wicked tribal tattoo on his bicep that Chad liked to taste.

"That's the idea," Christian smirked and decided he liked that dark look in Chad's eyes enough to hook his fingers along the rim of his shirt and tug it off, tossing it to the side. "Of course, you should probably never have more clothes then me on. Because that's just not fair," he stepped forward to close the distance between them, brushing their lips together. His fingers curled along the hem of Chad's shirt and tugged up. "Take it off."

Crossing his arms Chad pulled the shirt up over his head and chucked it on to the back of the chair. His shaking fingers moved quickly to the button on his jeans and he shoved it loose then pulled the zipper down. "Kiss me again..." he mumbled, feeling like a bit of an idiot but each time Christian's lips swept across his something flooded through him and he liked it.

Christian pulled Chad into him, whispering, "gladly," into his lips a moment before his mouth opened along Chad's. Their tongues met halfway, sliding together and tangling as Christian curled his fingers under Chad's jeans, shoving the denim down to pool at his feet. "Upstairs," he mumbled into the kiss, his own fingers falling to his button and unsnapping quickly.

Stepping out of his jeans, Chad stumbled slightly then walked a few steps backwards watching as Christian's hands worked the fastens on his jeans. Turning, he walked slowly up the stairs and moved into the bedroom. Suddenly, he didn't know what to do so he leaned against the wall by the door waiting for Chris. He could already hear his blood rushing in his ears and found himself wondering if he could die of excitement. He was laughing softly when Christian walked through the bedroom door. "Hey," he mumbled.

"Something funny?" Christian asked, depositing the random articles of clothing he'd collected from downstairs before he'd come up, tossing them toward the laundry basket even though some belong to Chad. He eyed Chad with an arched eyebrow as he crossed to a drawer in his dresser, tugging it open and shifting through the contents.

"Just..." he swallowed, "I amused myself. You... thinking about you... fuck it. I don't know." Chad was blushing. It was bad enough these thoughts were going through his mind, now they were actually attempting to come out his mouth. "Stop cleaning..." Chad wandered over to Christian and rubbed his palms down the man's back.

"Not cleaning," Christian insisted and grinned as he pulled out a bottle of lube from the drawer along with a pair of handcuffs covered with a cotton material to keep them from chafing skin. His eyes glinted as he stepped between Chad's legs, running his fingers along the man's chest. "I thought I might show you a few new tricks tonight, while I've got you all chained up," he brushed his lips over Chad's, sliding his tongue in to brush along Chad's then pull back. "If you're interested."

"Tricks?" Chad's mouth went completely dry and he struggled to swallow. "S..Sure, is it gonna hurt?" His lips twitched into a nervous smile and his hands moved over Christian's arms, fingers tracing the edges of his tattoo.

Christian began backing Chad up to the bed, smirking even brighter than before. "No. I don't think it well. At least... not to you," he dipped down and sucked the flesh along Chad's collar bone into his mouth, running his teeth along it before kissing a trail up Chad's neck, sucking his earlobe between his lips. "It is going to drive you fuckin' insane though. By the time I'm done you're gonna be beggin' for me," his voice was deep and thick with arousal and he could feel Chad practically shaking in front of him. "Boxers off. Lay down on your stomach and hold the metal bar in the middle of the headboard," Christian punctuated his command by sliding his under the elastic of Chad's boxers and stroking his hard shaft once.

Sucking in a breath Chad leaned into Christian's touch but it was gone too quickly. "On my stomach..." Chad licked his lips again, "okay... what if ..." he stepped closer to the bed and sat down, "what if I wanna stop?" He looked down shifting back into the middle of the bed.

"I highly doubt you will," Christian couldn't help chuckling slightly as he hooked his fingers in his boxers. "But you're right, we should always have a safe word, just in case," he hummed thoughtfully for a minute. "How about... Padalecki?" He couldn't help throwing his head back with laughter at the thought. Honestly he kind of hoped Chad agreed just so he could tell Jensen that his brand new boyfriend's last name was their safe word.

"You are a sick man, Kane... I am not hollering Jared's last name while you're... _Jesus_." Chad shook his head. "Music. That's my word." He took a last, long look at Christian's face then rolled over, crawled up closer to the head board then curled his fingers over the wrought iron bar. "Okay..." he realized even as he said that... he was shaking.

Reaching across the bed to set the lube on the far end of the mattress, and still chuckling softly, Christian tossed the handcuffs up by Chad's head before kneeling on the edge of the bed. He let his palms curve around the back of Chad's ankles, dragging slowly up his calves, into the dip of his knee, along his thighs. He massaged the flesh of the man's ass in slow circles before continuing up, letting his cock slide against the crack as he stretched out, hands pressing firmly into the still slightly red skin across his back. Christian traced the lines all the way up to Chad's hands, snatching at the handcuffs once more and wrapping one around Chad's wrist, locking it into place. "You were such a good boy earlier," Christian whispered huskily into the flesh behind his ear, scattering soft kisses along the skin as his hand worked the handcuff around the bar. "And I know you have to be sore. I've been fucking you so hard these past few weeks," he slid Chad's free wrist into the confines and pushed it shut, tugging slightly to make sure both were secure. "I think you need some type of reward. Maybe a kiss to make it all feel better?" He sucked Chad's earlobe between his lips and dragged his teeth along the skin.

What had started out as shaking became pretty much full-on trembling by the time Christian's words managed to slip into the fog of Chad's mind. He tugged a little at the handcuffs suddenly feeling a little strange. Sure, he joked about being tied up, or handcuffed but whenever he'd been tied up before it was by a chick half his size who couldn't tie a good knot to save her life. Here he was just letting Christian do, basically, whatever he wanted to him. It was kind of a scary thought. He tugged a little harder, the sound of metal against metal sending little shockwaves through his body. Turning his head, he strained to try and reach Christian's lips.

"Patience Chad," Christian said softly, brushing his lips along the side of Chad's mouth before he began his decent down once more. "What you need to learn is how to let go and just _enjoy_ it," he ran his hands down Chad's sides, firm enough they wouldn't tickle. "Let me worship you for awhile," he said huskily into red tinted flesh of Chad's back, punctuating the words with a trail of kisses down. Already Chad seemed to be constantly moving under him and Christian had no idea how long he was going to be able to keep this up. But he had this hunch that it would be worth it. Made even more so by the fact that Chad seemed to have no idea what was coming next. Christian smirked slightly and continued his trail of kisses down ward, stopping right where the crack in his ass began and dipping in to suck softly.

" _Fuck_ ," Chad's body launched up off the bed clanking the cuffs against the bed as his arms snapped back. It was one of _those_ sensations, he had no idea whether the wanted to be closer to it or further away. No one's lips had ever been quite that close to... well, Chad moaned and twisted his spine as he wriggled sideways slightly. "Christian..." he lost whatever thought he was going to say because simply saying Christian's name made his cock feel warmer, fuller, harder. He ground his hips down into the mattress. There was no way he was going to survive much of this.

Christian couldn't help smirking at Chad's reaction. The few times he had this done to him he had wished he was handcuffed because it felt impossible to stay still otherwise. "Shh, _relax_ ," Christian urged and turned to bite at the mound of flesh before him. He shifted down on the bed, spreading out Chad's legs as far as they could go. He had a hunch Chad's body was going to react pretty sharply to the first flicker of his tongue over the puckered flesh so he prepared his lover first by rubbing with the tip of his finger, dipping in slightly. "Try not to kick me," Christian murmured, faint chuckle harsh with arousal. Then he was repositioning them, shifting forward and letting his tongue slide across the slightly bitter flesh, circling around once, twice, and then withdrawing.

Spine arching up off the mattress, Chad's legs snapped up against Christian's thighs. It was the strangest sensation, good, very-absolutely-fuckin' good but _jesus_ how could Chris even do that. Chad's face flushed bright red and he moaned long and loud then tried to bury the sounds he was making in the mattress. "God, Chris, Jesus..." he gasped in a breath as he raised his head once more. His fingers threaded together, fists gripping so tight his hands were shaking.

Instead of trying to respond Christian simply slid forward and dragged his tongue flat across the entrance, circling at the muscle before pushing roughly inside. He realistically couldn't get very far but just hearing the way Chad was reacting to him, the way he moved so restlessly, was completely worth the effort. He slipped his hand between them sliding his finger into the saliva soaked entrance and pushing forward, crooking the digit until it brushed against Chad's prostate. Leaning in once more he let his tongue trail along the now stretched skin, lapping at the skin slowly. Pulling back he cupped Chad's ass with his free hand and squeezed roughly. "A little less sore now Chad?"

Chad felt like he was going to pass out. The feel of Christian's tongue, then his finger, his thick hair trailing across Chad's ass; everything was working him up into the most intense state of arousal he'd ever experienced. When Christian's finger hit that _sweet_ spot Chad nearly flew off the bed again tugging on the handcuffs unconsciously even as the skin on his wrists burned a little from the friction. "L..Less?" Seriously, Christian couldn't expect him to speak; his voice was already hoarse from the moaning and growling that he was doing. His hips were in constant motion within the confines of Christian's grip. His cock was so full it was aching and even the slightest friction from the rough quilt was driving Chad mad. Twisting once more, he tried to see Christian, shuddered and let his head fall back down. "Chris..."

"I know. I want to be in you too," Christian tugged at Chad's waist, bringing him up to his knees, body arched almost beautifully before him. "God... seeing you like this..." Christian's voice was so deep it felt like a purr, working through his chest as shifted his finger inside Chad, making room for another. "Just makes me want you _so_ fuckin' bad. Worse than usual," he pulled his fingers from Chad and shifted quickly to the edge of the bed, snatching at the lube. "You gonna be able to handle it like this or should I undo the handcuffs?" Christian asked softly, contradicting his gentle tone by a hard slap on Chad's ass.

Body jolting forwards as the pain turned to an insanely good burn Chad sighed out "s'fine." The handcuffs felt good and _Jesus_ if his hands were free he had no idea what he would do, no idea how the _fuck_ he would stay still. He leaned forward, face on his hands overly aware of his ass just _there_ and how he couldn't do anything...not a thing. While his spine was arching slightly his hips were rocking back and forth his cock now desperate for any kind of contact. Prying his fingers apart Chad curled them over the metal bar, eyes drifting closed.

Christian allowed himself the pleasure of a few more rough slaps on Chad's ass, enjoying the way the man squirmed at the touch. "Fuck Chad, you're so fuckin' needy," he growled, massaging his ass cheek beneath his palm and using the other to curl around the base of his cock and drag slowly up and down the length of Chad's crack. "I know you fuckin' need me in you. You goin' crazy?" By this point Christian's voice was so deep and low he didn't think it made sense to Chad even if he could register it. The talking was just keeping him grounded so he didn't slam into Chad and lose control all in one moment. But the need to be _in_ Chad was too much and he aligned himself at the entrance, sliding all the way in, not even giving Chad a moment to adjust before he was sliding back out and quickly back in, over and over until the bed shook beneath them.

"W..Want you..." Chad's voice was barely above a whisper. He struggled to keep hold of the bar as Christian thrust into him time and time again. It didn't matter how many times Chris fucked him, Chad could never get enough. There wasn't enough time, enough touching, enough of that fullness when Christian's cock sank, hot and hard, deep inside Chad. He rocked back on his aching knees slamming his ass back against Christian, wanting that shaft inside him the moment it withdrew. He tried to say something, tried to call out for Christian but he was feeling the burn already deep within him; the need to let go.

"Jesus _fuckin_ Christ," Christian moaned loudly, head falling back as he thrust forward as hard and fast as possible. Vaguely he registered the headboard hitting the wall but he was too consumed with knowledge that they didn't have to go out of their way to be quiet. He could tell just by the greedy way Chad was rocking back into him that he was just as close as Christian was, teetering right on the edge. "Chad, gonna-" he grunted, tightening his hold on Chad's hips. He had no idea how long he'd been driving his lover into the mattress, just knew that watching him fall apart beneath him was simply intoxicating.

Christian's cock thrust past that bundle of nerves inside him so many times Chad thought he was going to pass out, his vision wavered and he couldn't hold himself up at all anymore. His chest was resting on the mattress, arms aching the way they were stretched out and he could barely manage to get breath in his lungs. He could feel his orgasm spring open inside him, a few more thrusts of Christian's hard cock and Chad came so hard his vision faded, he gave up even trying to move as his cock throbbed and pulsed until it almost hurt.

It was impossible to extend his own release passed the clenching of Chad's ass around him and he stuttered to a halt in him, emptying all he had deep inside Chad with quick, shallow thrusts. His hips continued rocking through the pleasure, until it faded into that tingling hum along his arms and he pulled out of his lover with a groan. Christian fell onto the bed beside Chad, reaching out to press in the lever on the side of the cuff and release the man. "Damn Chad..." Christian breathed heavily, shaking his head from side to side slowly, struggling to catch his breath.

Chad's arms slithered away from the headboard and he fell onto his side back to Christian. He could barely breathe and he had the craziest feeling like he was actually going to cry. His eyes were prickling and burning, his body twitching and shivering as he came down. Dragging his arms down he curled them into his chest and tried to breathe.

Sliding in behind Chad, Christian gathered his lover into his arms and pressed a kiss on the curve of his neck. He didn't think he'd ever seen Chad so... lethargic. Worry instantly gnawed at his gut and he shifted back enough to roll Chad in his arms to face him, smoothing damp hair back along his forehead. "Did I hurt you?" He asked quietly, rubbing a hand down Chad's arm, massaging softly.

Shaking his head Chad blinked his tears away and smiled up into Christian's worried face. "N..No...m'fine," he murmured. If he could ever unscramble his thoughts he might try and explain it. His heart was still thumping away like a freight train. He slid his arm over Christian's waist and slid closer pressing his lips to the other man's shoulder.

Christian pulled him in close, settling back on the pillow and sighing softly. His hand stroked almost absently through Chad's hair, down his back, and he yawned. "That was fuckin' amazing," he murmured sleepily, tilting his head to the side to graze his lips along Chad's temple.

Tangling his fingers in Christian's hair Chad sighed softly. He knew he was in trouble, the way he felt about Christian and the way it felt like their time was ticking away. "Maybe I could stay till I get to see you play," he said so quietly he wasn't sure if Christian heard. _Maybe_ he could stay longer.

"I'd like that," Christian returned just as quietly and he exhaled softly before sliding out from Chad and padding to the bathroom to retrieve a rag. This time he didn't hesitate in cleaning off the come that had managed to land on Chad's chest. After a moment he tossed the rag toward the hamper, flipped off the light and climbed back onto the mattress beside Chad, pulling him close once more. "Gonna have to do laundry tomorrow," he mumbled, eyes already falling closed as he buried his nose in Chad's hair.

Smiling, Chad let his eyes close finally and fell asleep with his fingers tangled in Christian's hair.

-=-=-=-

In the morning Christian woke Chad with a slow and steady blow job that quickly escalated that heat in him until he was writhing and moaning beneath Christian, fingers curled tightly in Christian's hair and tugging sharply, until his body arched practically in half off the bed and he came with a loud keen of noise that shot through Christian like fireworks. Chad returned the favour a few minutes later in the shower, kneeling beneath the spray and keeping his eyes fixed up on Christian as he relaxed his jaw and took as much of him in as possible. There was nothing quite so delicious as the way Chad swallowed everything he had to offer, swiping what he missed with his finger and sucking it off with a pop of lips.

Christian made them breakfast - omelettes with ham and cheese and the last green pepper in the bottom drawer that was still okay to use - and they ate in comfortable silence at the table, legs resting together gently. After awhile Christian suggested they go to the beach over the day, smiling when Chad's eyes lit up. The idea must have pleased Chad more than Christian knew because the blond gathered up his dish the minute he was done and washed everything that remained from cooking without complaint. There was even a slight smile on his face and Christian couldn't resist sliding up behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and resting his head in the crook of his lover's neck. It was the first time he truly admitted to the fact that having Chad around made the house less lonely, made his heart more warm, and that was a _good_ thing.

They got a load of laundry in the washer - Christian stuffing his clothes in along with Chad's. Just as they were getting ready to go Steve called again and Christian shot Chad annoyed glances - much to the amusement of the blond - as he settled in on the couch to handle the conversation. Apparently Steve had a wide selection of things to go over and Christian pulled up the notebook that was resting on the coffee table to scribble down the information. He grinned over at Chad to the side of him, watching him play with his phone and mouthed _sorry_.

Chad was already tired of Steve and he hadn't seen the guy yet. Slipping a little closer to Christian, Chad slid his fingers along the man's thigh, fingers spread out wide as they massaged the denim clad thigh. He kept his eyes focused straight ahead for a while and then closed them, a slight smile on his face. He was learning new things every day; today it seemed to be that he didn't like sharing Christian's time.

Whatever Steve was saying was starting to blur and Christian's eyes fluttered slightly as he shifted back, spreading his legs wide for Chad. Christian reached out with his free hand to slide his fingers through Chad's hair. "What?" Christian repeated into the phone when Steve said his name for a second time. His eyes slid over to Chad, darkening slightly.

Fingers walking up the inside of Christian's thigh, Chad glanced over at his lover and smirked. He rolled towards Christian and rested on his side, watching the older man's face; there was a slight flush on Christian's cheeks and when he wasn't trying to answer Steve's questions he would lick his lips the way Chad knew meant he _wanted_. "Beach", Chad mouthed and leaned closer to slide his hand under Christian, fingers squeezing the man's balls through his jeans.

"Jesus," Christian couldn't help hissing, laughing roughly when Steve faltered on the phone. His vision was narrowing in on his lover and he sputtered out a, "gotta call you later," before snapping his phone shut. " _Chad_ ," he grunted, tugging the blond up to him and sliding their lips together. "You're such a god damn tease."

Laughter dying on his lips as Christian deepened the kiss, Chad finally pulled back a little. "You and Steve..." he licked his way up Christian's neck and sucked on his ear lobe. "You guys eve ... you know?" He sat back a little and blinked up at his lover.

Amusement danced across Christian's eyes and he shook his head slowly. "Steve's straight as an arrow," he wet his lips slightly, reaching up to flick hair back along Chad's forehead. "Why? Little jealous Murray?" He couldn't help smirking this time, dragging down Chad's lower lip with his thumb.

"What if I am? Is that a problem?" Not that Chad _enjoyed_ facing that little pinch of jealously that nagged at him whenever Chris was on the phone with another guy. It was damn annoying that he felt like that actually. It wasn't like they'd even entertained the idea of being exclusive in any way. Technically, Christian could go out tonight and pick up anyone he wanted and not be at fault for anything.

Wetting his lips, Christian considered Chad, tilting his head to the side. "Nothing to be jealous of," he said softly and shifted forward to brush their lips together. "As if anyone could ever compete with you," he whispered against Chad's lips, hand tangling in blond hair.

"So, like," Chad pulled back a little, "you and me. Are we..." He blinked up at Christian, feeling his cheeks pink up. Sitting back he rubbed a hand over his mouth then cast his eyes down at the buttons on Christian's shirt. His fingers moved down, fiddling with the buttons.

"Exclusive?" Christian asked softly, smiling at the nervous rise of color on Chad's cheeks. "I had... kind of assumed so. I... did I assume wrong?" He asked quietly, letting his own eyes drop down to watch Chad's hands.

"Yeah... okay." He glanced up for a few moments then looked back down to the button he was turning in his fingers. "I like that." _Fuck_ he felt like every time he opened his mouth around the guy he made himself sound like a love-sick teenager. "Okay... now that I've completely embarrassed myself - should we go to the beach?" He buried his face on Christian's shoulder.

Laughing softly, Christian squeezed the back of Chad's neck and nodded. "Yeah, let's go to the beach," his heart was clenching and unclenching pleasantly in his chest and he had to swallow a few times to stop feeling so god damn sentimental about the whole thing. "Later though I'm gonna have to call Carlson back and you're really gonna have to keep your hands to yourself otherwise our mini tour is never gonna get off the ground."

Not long after they were heading out the door, climbing into Christian's truck and heading for the beach. The salt air clung around them the moment they pulled into the parking lot and stepped out. It was nice, relaxing, to walk along the beach and share silent, small smiles. They held hands for awhile as they walked, not talking, simply sharing the companionable company. Christian was fairly certain, no matter how long they got to be together, they would spend most of their time in that familiar silence. When they did talk, Christian laughed at Chad's bright expression, heart warming by how pleased Chad seemed with the whole experience. When they reached a pier at the far end of the beach, Christian suggested they head up to one of the seaside restaurants for lunch.

Ocean air always made Chad hungry so he tugged on Christian, walking backwards in front of the man as he tried to speed him up a little. Once they were settled in the restaurant Chad insisted on ordering a few different appetizers so they could try things and share. Once the food arrived Chad even found himself feeding Christian some prawns until he realized what he was doing and sat back on his chair abruptly. Christian just laughed that deep, low sound that made Chad's cock start to swell every time. They talked quietly about Christian's upcoming tour and how long Chad might be able to stay around. Every time the discussion of _time_ came up, Chad felt like he was drowning a little. He wondered if there would come a time when things made sense again. When Christian realized how late it was getting he reached for the bill only to have it snatched away by Chad as he mumbled something about _equalities_. There was a smile on Christian's face as he tugged Chad out of the restaurant.

After Chad had paid, they headed back down the beach toward Christian's car. It felt a little like their hands just naturally drifted together by this point, and Christian didn't find that as odd as he should have. When they got back to Christian's vehicle he pulled Chad in for a deep kiss that lingered for several long minutes. A smirk tugged up his lips when Chad leaned back against the dark vehicle and blew out a shaky breath. Christian squeezed his hip for a moment before rounding to the driver's side and climbing in. They headed to the grocery store because Christian's house was seriously lacking since their two week trip. It turned out grocery shopping with Chad was an experience Christian wasn't quite ready for. The man was like a ball of energy, bouncing along the isles and picking out a selection of items, his favourite things he liked to eat. Christian followed along much slower, smiling softly at Chad every time he bounced back with more items to dump into the cart. He insisted on paying - since it was likely, hopefully, that they'd have to make another shopping trip before Chad left. And once they'd piled everything into the back of the Ranger, they headed back to Christian's place and began the long process of carrying their haul inside.

Buzzing around Christian in the kitchen Chad smiled, after all, he didn't really know where anything went so all he could do was pull things out of bags and pile them onto the counter. "So... you gotta work tonight? Do you just work on the phone? Is Steve in town? Do you have to go out?" He hopped up on the only clean part of the counter and started sliding things across to Christian.

Chuckling softly, Christian slid can food into the cabinet before gathering up some frozen items to pile into the freezer. "Steve's in Georgia I think... hard to say what he gets up too most of the time. But I should call him back, at least finish arranging the dates. I wanted to listen to some of my mostly complete tracks too, see if there should be any changes before adding it to the album list," Christian waited until he'd put everything in the fridge away before turning over to Chad and dragging a tongue across his lips. "You could... listen to them? If you want? Let me know what you think?" He smiled slightly and gathered up the shopping bags to store under the sink.

"I'd like that, I've been wanting to listen to some of your stuff." He swung his legs a couple of times then hopped down off the counter and leaned against it. "Did you know that George Sands, Chopin's girlfriend used to lie on the floor under his piano when he composed?" He shrugged, he'd always thought about that, how she must have wanted to be near Chopin all the time, and how the music must have sounded. "Saw it in a movie," he blushed.

Christian glanced at him, at little surprised by the information, "I didn't. That's... sweet." Christian chuckled and moved around, finishing with the rest of the groceries. "You gonna lay at my feet while I write?" He smirked slightly, shaking his head when Chad's face flickered over emotions. Walking over to him, Christian stepped between his legs, hand falling on either side of his hips, sliding around to curl in the top of his ass cheeks. "That's okay with me, if you want to hang around, while I write," he smiled softly and leaned in to suck at a patch of skin on Chad's neck. "But you gotta promise to let me do my work."

"I promise," it wasn't like Chad actually _planned_ to distract Christian - it just seemed to happen. "What if I watch for a while and then make you dinner?" He leaned against Christian, fingers sliding around to tuck into his belt loops.

"Sounds like a plan," Christian brushed his lips along Chad's and stepped back. "I hope you like the tracks I have, you'll be the first to hear them outside studio folk."

True to his word Chad spent about an hour sitting on the floor at Christian's feet listening to his music. It was good, he loved the sound of the man's voice most of all. And Christian was even hotter when he was working; he got completely caught up in his music like nothing else in the world existed. If Chad was a sentimental kind of guy he would say it was beautiful to watch.

They ate the first of many suppers Chad would struggle to cook. Fortunately for both of them, Kane had a wide variety of cook books. Chad relaxed a little as the week progressed, mostly because he stopped trying to figure out _why_ he was there and just decided to enjoy the time he had with Christian. Chad's favourite time of day was morning - there was something insanely hot about Christian when he was asleep so Chad got into the habit of waking up a bit earlier so he could stare at him for a while. Christian's face was so relaxed, peaceful, his hair fanned out around him, sometimes plastered across his face and Chad would brush his fingers through the locks until the other man woke up. It was even worth having to get up to make Christian coffee. It just became one of those things that Chad did.

It only took setting aside a full hour to talk to Steve to get the tour set up, and Chad even left him to it in favour of going for a run. Steve had been less then pleased since they'd been attempting to have the conversation for almost a week but Christian could be too bothered. Even if Steve had hounded him about the person distracting his attention. Though things between Chad and he were going great - better then great - Christian wasn't quite ready to bring him up in conversation. There weren't actual words to define the relationship between Chad and him, just that whatever it was, it worked. Christian learned he could spend hours with Chad sprawled out on the bed beneath him, exploring every inch of his body, and it never got old. Some part of his mind insisted that one - or both - of them would snap out of this odd sort of daze with each other but, as the week rounded out and slipped into the next, it didn't seem to be happening.

Once a week had passed, Chad realized he still hadn't booked a ticket home. There was part of him that wanted that date so that he knew where he stood; there was a large part of him that didn't want to know when everything was going to end because it didn't seem like it should _be_ ending. He got used to being at Christian's place, felt kind of at home even if he wouldn't admit it. The house was alive with the sounds of music, laughter, Chad hollering at Christian from upstairs, Christian yelling back to tell him to come downstairs because he couldn't hear him. Chad found, more often than not, he was moving through the hours of the day with a smile on his face. Night time was Christian's time. Chad was pretty sure that there was no point in him having sex _ever_ again if it couldn't be with Christian. The man made him feel things he'd never felt before; his hands took Chad places he didn't know existed, pushed Chad's boundaries and limits, challenged him. And so, at night the house was filled with the sound of quiet sighs, moans, names spoken in the tenderest way.

Halfway through the second week Christian got a call from a bar he sometimes played at. They had a last minute opening and Christian was more than happy to jump at the chance. For the first time in years he was actually nervous stepping on stage to perform, knowing Chad was out there watching him. It also made the experience heightened on a whole new level. After the set his adrenaline was pumping so intensely through his system he had to sneak up behind Chad at the bar and drag him to the back storage room. It was around this time Christian figured out how absolutely perfect Chad and he were together. After all, having sex against a wooden door with the possibility of anyone walking in on them at any time wasn't everyone's cup of tea. Once their blood had finally stopped rushing, and they headed back out to the bar to pretend to be normal, Christian resolved that he needed to speak to Chad about this whole thing soon. Because it was beginning to get to the point where he wasn't certain he was going to be able to let Chad go and that was kind of terrifying.

The following morning over breakfast, which was closer to lunch since they hadn't gone to bed until after three and consequently hadn't woken until almost noon, Christian considered Chad quietly. It took several long swallows from his coffee before he managed to get his throat into gear, "So... have you... decided? I mean, how long you're gonna be staying?"

Sighing Chad leaned forward so he could slide his fingers into Christian's, "I guess, I was... putting it off." He looked down at their fingers. "You think I should go soon?" It was the last thing he wanted to do but he did have a place he was still paying rent on and he didn't think he could just drop himself into Christian's life permanently.

"I... no," Christian shook his head and pursed his lips. "But I know that the real world is out there. And if you have obligations or anything..." He shrugged and glanced to the side, wondering if it should in his actions how very much he didn't want Chad going anywhere.

"My apartment... I guess..." Chad looked back up at Christian. "What are we doing here?"

"You don't know?" Christian asked and chuckled softly, tightening his hand through Chad's. "I was kind of hoping you would. Because I... I just don't know," he shrugged and brought his coffee mug to his lips.

"I wanna stay." Chad leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't have to stay with you; maybe I should get my own place or something. I don't know... but I think this is... you and I are _good_." He fidgeted on his seat, "I _want_ to wake up with you and... and sit at your feet sometimes when you're composing, fight over who's cooking dinner..." He looked up at Christian feeling completely out of his depth. "I can go home for a while - let you think about it, 'cause I know you're not the kind of guy who does things like this and I've been taking up a lot of your time." He swallowed and pressed his lips together.

Christian sighed softly and gazed at the sink for a minute before turning back to Chad. "I think... you should probably go to your place," he looked down for a minute and tightened his grip in Chad's hand when the man tried to pull it away. "But maybe I could come with you? After all, you've been cycling through the same outfits for almost a month. That has to be annoying right? So we could go to LA for a few days? If you want me to come with?"

"I guess," Chad looked down; it wasn't at all the answer that he'd wanted. It wasn't even close. He had to swallow a few times before he could say anything else. "I'll go book my ticket, maybe you can just come down later after we've had some time to think."

Christian can tell by the look on Chad's face that he's once more said the wrong thing. Damn he was really just not good at these sorts of things. "Chad?" He said softly, eyes scanning across the table and lifting up to him. "You know I... I feel... you know I have... that I might be... I mean..." He shrugged and sighed, dropping his hands into his lap. "I'm shit at this okay? I'm sorry." Forcing his eyes up to Chad, he dragged a hand through his hair and swallowed a few times. "I want to be with you."

"I know," Chad smiled and stood up, "I'm gonna go book my ticket." He walked over to his jacket and searched around in the pockets for his phone. He pulled it out and scrolled through the contacts menu until he found the number for his Travel Agent. Turning quickly back to Christian, brows furrowed his voice was quiet when he spoke again, "it's just that I think I'm pretty sure that I..." Chad chewed on his bottom lip for a few moments. Jared was always telling him that if you wanted things then you should just go for it - but Chad always figured that was easier for someone like Jared. People didn't like Chad the same way - Chad was pricklier, harder to read. "I think that I might love you - so - I mean, if that makes a difference I thought maybe you should know." He could feel that his face was beet read and his hands were shaking as he stabbed at his phone again trying to find the right number.

It's the L word thing that has Christian's shoulders tensing. He blew out a low breath and pushed up out of his chair, dragging a hand through his hair. No one had ever said anything like that to Christian before and, up until he met Chad, he never thought he'd feel that way about anyone. Christian just doesn't know if that's something he can handle. It seems so serious, so complicated and so... _important_. "I... um..." he looked around, eyes skittering across the kitchen before he moved forward and down the hall to the door. "I need to go out for a bit. I'll be back later," he tugged his coat on, slipping into boots quickly and pulling open the front door only to slam it shut behind him moments later.

Chad waited a few moments, well, let's face it - he stood there shocked for a few moments. At some point his self-respect took over from his hurt and he padded upstairs quietly to start packing his clothes. Before he started packing he sat on the edge of the bed and called his Travel agent and asked her to get him on the earliest flight to L.A. the next morning. The worst part of packing was sorting his clothes apart from Christian’s; somehow they'd all started to get mixed together in the laundry basket, the pile of clean items, the drawers. It sucked. Chad had no idea what was going on in his brain except that he was trying _not_ to be upset about everything. Hell, even if Christian didn't feel the same way he could have said _something_.

He waited for a while in the bedroom, he wasn't even sure how long and then he dragged his duffel across the hall and threw it in the guest room. Something was aching in the middle of his chest; it sucked. If Chad were at his own place it would be easier, here, he was like a fish out of water. Huffing out a shaky breath he went back downstairs, wrote a quick note then pulled his jacket on and left closing the door quietly behind him.

By the time Christian had finished three beers he actually managed to get his hands to stop shaking and his brain to start making sense of things. Which consequently led to him feeling like a complete and total asshole for leaving the way he did. He should have stayed and talked to Chad, stayed and told him that feeling anything like _love_ was one of the singularly most terrifying things that had ever happened to him. It wasn't like he'd ever had that with anyone. And how could he possibly have it with Chad? The same Chad who, up until their drunk fooling around in Cabo, had been the straightest woman's man imaginable. The same Chad who had this odd sort of hold over him that made it harder to breath, that was the source of more pleasure then he thought possible.

So by the time he finished his fourth beer he was pushing up and heading back to his place. It didn't seem likely that he was going to be able to tell Chad anything using the word _love_ but he could tell him something and that was what mattered. If he just told Chad all those ways he was feeling, then surely the man would understand. Only when he arrived home Chad was nowhere to be found. Just a brief note that said he'd be leaving first thing, that he needed to go out. Christian's heart sank as he walked up the stairs slowly. Chad's stuff wasn't in his room and his heart lurched thinking Chad might have gone to a hotel to stay, but he found the bag in the guest room moments later.

Christian went to the studio to wait, strumming his guitar slowly, eyes fixed on the door. He'd talk to Chad when he got home, tell him that he didn't want Chad to go, that more than anything he wanted Chad to stay. So he sat and waited and tried not to feel like this was the beginning of the end.

Chad came back into the house as quietly as he could; he wanted to give Christian his space. He rubbed his cheeks; they were windblown from being down at the ocean all day. Shrugging off his coat and leaving it on the back of the living room chair and moved quietly into the kitchen and poured himself a drink.

Still seated in his chair in the studio, Christian watched Chad move, heart quickening at just the sight. How could he keep going without him now that he knew what they could be? "Have fun at the beach?" He asked quietly, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. Chad jumped slightly and Christian frowned, "You're cheeks are red. I recognized the signs," he folded his arms over his chest, scratching at his arm.

"I like the beach," Chad said. When he was home he went surfing a lot when he wanted to think about things, today, he'd just done the walk that he and Christian usually did all the way along the beach. "Got a message - my flight leaves tomorrow at ten am. I've booked a car to take me at eight." He finished the whiskey and poured himself another one leaning against the counter, hands on either side of the glass.

Christian's heart continued its deadly tight clench and he sighed softly, "I could have taken you." He clenched his jaw, shaking his head roughly. That wasn't what he meant to say. "Chad, I don't want you to go."

"You don't have to say that, I get it - I'm not mad. I was thinking about it all today and I'm rushing things. You're right, I should go home and spend some time back in my own life again. See my friends, stuff like that." Moving slowly he poured himself another drink. Unfortunately, he felt like there wasn't going to be enough Whiskey in the world to get through this.

Turning, Christian let his head drop hard against the wall. "I'm not just saying it to say it. I mean it," he shifted his eyes to Chad. "I... I'll admit I freaked. And I'm still a little freaked. But that... that doesn't mean I want you to go," he pursed his lips and swallowed. "Please?" Just saying that took more force then he knew he had and his heart ached in fear, already figuring he knew the answer before it came.

"I think," Chad took a long drink gasping a little at the burn, "that's kind of a sign that maybe we're not ready for... " he waved his hand around, "this." He smiled down at the glass, "I've had a lot of fun though don’t get me wrong. And like you said a while ago, there's that whole _straight_ thing." He finished the rest of his glass and poured himself another one. "No point in you getting up to take me to the airport, one of us might as well sleep in." Chad didn't know why he was so calm, maybe because he'd felt like this was going to happen all along.

Christian stepped back, recoiling as if he'd been stung. "Clearly, you must not _love_ me, if it's so easy for you to just go," he spat and turned, pulling in a sharp breath against the sudden hurt shooting through him. "See you around Chad," he strode out of the kitchen and took the steps two at a time, slamming his bedroom door behind and falling back against it with a heavy sigh.

Chad let his head fall for a few minutes then put his empty glass in the dishwasher and headed upstairs. He tapped on Christian's door, "Can I sleep with you tonight?" He tried to keep his voice steady, failed, but it was worth a shot.

Swallowing thickly, Christian pushed off the door and turned slowly, pulling it open and leaning against the wood to stare at Chad. "Do you really think that's the wisest idea? Why would you even want to?"

Blinking, Chad just forced a half smile and ran his hand over his hair. "Yeah... okay." Nothing seemed to be working the way Chad thought it should and his chest was aching so badly he felt like he was going to be sick. "Okay," he cleared his throat, "you'll be up in the morning? To say goodbye?"

Christian didn't want to say goodbye. For the first time in his entire life he actually felt _miserable_ about the idea of seeing a man go. "This is it isn't it? You're gonna go and not come back? And even though I said I'd be happy to come to LA with you..." he sighed shakily and stepped back, turning from the door and walking silently toward the dresser, sorting through things just to keep his hands busy. "I think it's best if we just say goodbye now. I don't... I'm not sure I could handle... in the morning."

Chad was just about out of ideas, none of this was easy for him and Christian seemed to think that he cornered the market on being hurt. Walking in to the room hesitantly Chad reached up and tugged on Christian's hair, "Can I..." he stepped closer letting his hand slide down on the small of the other man's back.

Dragging his tongue against his lips, Christian turned into the touch and curled his arms along Chad's familiar body. He buried his face into the crook of Chad's neck and blew out a soft puff of air. It felt so _final_ and his knees dipped slightly. Christian was _not_ the type of man to cry so the prick of tears along his eyes shocked him and he pulled back quickly, turning and swiping angry at the liquid he couldn't seem to stop from falling.

Chad staggered forward a little when Christian pulled away so quickly, he reached up and curled his fingers over Christian's shoulder. "You still want me to say good-bye now? I can stay in here tonight if you want me too." He didn't think there was anything else he could offer. He _was_ going to leave tomorrow, especially after Christian's reaction. Chad needed some time to think.

"Stay," Christian said softly, turning to Chad and cupping his cheek, staring at him through watery eyes. Leaning in he brushed their lips together softly, sucking the air from Chad's mouth. "Please stay," the whisper was hoarse and quiet and he raised his other hand so Chad's face was bracketed between his hands, leaning their foreheads together.

It was easy to sink into Christian's body and Chad's fingers went right to where they'd become accustomed to being and tangled in Christian's long hair. This time, his grip was tighter than usual, a little more desperate. He nodded, the stubble on his cheeks grating against Christian's palms. He let his hands fall to Christian's shoulders then to his chest then to his own sides.

Christian pulled back, looking into Chad's face solemnly. "I mean _stay_. Not just tonight."

Chad shook his head slowly, "I gotta go in the morning, but you can come see me sometime if you want." Chad's heart was racing away in his chest and he didn't know whether it was because of what _might_ happen or because of what might _not_. "I'd like to stay with you tonight though..."

Christian turned away from him and shook his head. "I don't think I can do that," he wet his lips and dragged a hand through his hair. "It's probably for the best. That we don't," keeping his back to Chad, he added softly, "Have a good flight. It was... I'll miss you."

It hurt, there was no denying it and Chad was shaking a little when he leaned forward to bury his face in Christian's hair for a few moments then place a gentle kiss on the man's neck. "Night," he whispered, turned and left the room closing the door behind him. The walk across the hall to the guest room was the longest walk he'd taken since he arrived. It was wrong, and Chad was miserable without Christian's arms wrapped around him. He undressed slowly, turned out the lights and slipped under the covers. He realized he'd forgotten to set his alarm, rolled over and grabbed his phone off the night table. After he had the alarm set to go off at six a.m. he pulled up the contact menu and sent a text to Jared.

 _ChadMM:_ Going home 2moro. Told him i loved him, doesn't feel same. fuck.

He set his phone down on his pillow and only had to wait for a few moments for it to chime softly.

 _Jare:_ Jen says he wouldn't know love if it bit him in the ass. I love you. Call when home. Proud of you.

Smiling sadly Chad curled up on his side, it was too early to sleep so he just had hours of thinking to look forward too.


	3. Chapter 3

Christian was awake the morning Chad left. In fact, he'd been awake most of the night. He stood at the window, fingers pressed into the glass, staring down at the man with sad eyes. Chad didn't look up at him and Christian turned away before his heart could literally stop beating from the pain. To say he'd never experienced anything so heart wrenchingly painful would be an understatement.

The first day he just sort of hung around and felt sorry for himself. The second day he channelled his energy and wrote the saddest, most heartbroken song he'd ever written. He was fairly certain he'd never touch it once he was done but it felt good to get it out of his system. He stared at his phone for awhile, desperate to call Chad and listen to his lame sarcasm, silly laugh, and soft words. But he didn't because Chad didn't call him, or text, or anything.

So he forced himself to get on with his life, seemed smarter than wallowing in misery like he wanted too. Each day was spent listening to his tracks over and over, being overly picky, and making the tiniest changes because he was terrified at the idea of being alone with his thoughts. By the end of the week the CD was done, more perfect than anything, and he had no choice but to send the tracks to the studio, hoping to get it all printed before his tour in a few weeks with Steve.

The week marker of Chad's departure came with Jensen's phone call. Christian pressed the ringing device to his ear and grunted a hello. The returned greeting was a harsh, "Christian Kane you're the fuckin' stupidest man I know."

It probably wasn't a lie but Christian bristled in response. "Nice to hear from you Ackles."

"Why the hell haven't you called him? Or gotten on a plane and gone after him?" Jensen asked as if that was the simplest thing in the world to do.

Christian scowled and paced the length of his living room, "You don't even know what you're talking about Jen so don't go off on me."

"Jared's been talking to Chad so yeah, I _know_ what's going on. Let me guess, you're sitting around feeling sorry for yourself? Written any songs with the words achy breaky in them? 'Cause at this point it wouldn't surprise me."

"Shut. Up. Jensen."

Jensen's response was a snort of laughter, "Call him. Go after him. Do _something_. You're both just being retarded about this. There is no fucking reason you can't be together."

"Jesus _fuck_ why do I always have to be the one to call? We're both guys! He can damn well pick up the phone. I haven't changed my number or anything so seriously," Christian sighed bitterly and threw a pillow from the couch across the room. There was silence for a long time, long enough for Christian to calm down and sigh heavily, long enough for the sadness to return full force. "Jen..."

"I know Chris. Trust me, of all people, I _know_ ," Jensen chuckled softly. "Go to him. I think this is past the point of phone calls. Just pack a bag, get on a fuckin' plane and go. To. Him."

The phone fell into silence and Christian considered it for a long minute before taking the stairs three at a time, pulling his duffel bag from the closet and tossing it on the bed.

-=-=-=-

Four hours later he was sitting on a plane speeding down the runway and lifting off the ground, headed for LA. Jared had texted Chad's address the minute Christian sent him a message and let him know where he was heading. It was nice to know both Jared and Jensen had his back, just in case Chad completely lost it when he showed up. He spent the first hour of the flight completely inwardly freaking about the fact that he should have gone sooner, he should have left his room the morning Chad left and _begged_ him to stay. The second hour he spent calming himself down. And finally, the last part of the trip he worked over exactly what to say.

By the time he was slipping into a cab and gave the driver the address, his nerves were so intense his palms were sweating. The only thing he could think of to say to Chad was _I love you_. He rehearsed the line over and over in his mind, working up his confidence, building up his strength. He could do this. And with any lucky Chad had been given enough time to sort through his thoughts and would just _know_ he felt the same.

Christian stood in front of the door to Chad's apartment for a very long time. Long enough for his muscles to feel tense, for his palms to practically be dripping sweat. With a heavy sigh he finally shifted the bag on his shoulder and raised his fist, knocking quick and swift along the wood.

It took a few minutes for the lock to turn and when Chad pulled open the door his hair was a dishevelled mess, sticking up in all places, eyes blurry with sleep. Christian didn't even know what time it was. He could tell neither Jared nor Jensen had called to warn him, since shock was clear along his across his expression. Christian opened his mouth to speak before Chad could get a word out. "I have been really stupid," he admitted, wetting his lips, swallowing once. Chad went to say something but Christian held up a finger to stop him. "I should have called. I should have come with you or never told you to go in the first place. Look Chad, I'm completely shit at this whole thing but... I've had some time... to think about things and I..." he dropped his eyes and stepped forward slightly. "I'm pretty sure... that I love you," he blew out a breath, shoulders feeling as if a weight had been lifted the moment the words fell out.

And then Chad's name was being called from inside the apartment and Christian's heart twisted. Not even a minute later a tiny thin arm was curling around Chad's waist and long blond hair fell from the petite girl suddenly appearing behind Chad. Christian stepped back, eyes widening slightly. "I... Sorry. I didn't realize..." he dropped his eyes before Chad could see the tears pricking along them and turned slightly. "I'll go."

"You didn't call me, or you didn't... nothing... since I came home." He glanced down at the blond beside him and then back at Christian. "Wait... don't go. Please." There was no way that Chad had expected him to come after all this time, hell, he had given up waiting for Kane shortly after he got home. When Christian didn't get up to say goodbye to him, when there was no text asking if he made it home, no phone calls to see if he was okay, nothing. Chad gave up on Christian. He was kind of crushed by the whole experience and fell back into his old life trying to ease the pain. It wasn't working - in fact, Chad had just been telling the girl beside him - whose name, truth be told, he couldn't remember - about Christian.

Stopping mid step, Christian turned to him slowly. "It's been a week Chad. A week. Even _I_ haven't moved on yet. How long did you wait? A day? Two?" He sighed and shook his head. "And to think I'd been sitting around writing fucking love songs about you," he laughed humourlessly at himself and dragged a hand through his hair, eyes sliding down to the ground. "Phones work two ways. Always have."

"You freaked on me!" Chad was getting mad; sure he'd made some mistakes. "I was the one who put it all out there on a limb and you didn't even say anything you just left. Do you know what that felt like? I spent an entire day thinking how much I had fucked up and shouldn't have said anything. It's not okay when someone..." The blond girl reached for Chad's arm and he shook off her grasp and turned to look at her, "could you just... could you leave?"

She disappeared into the darkness of the apartment. "And _you_ , can you stay long enough for us to talk?" Chad raised his eye brows and stared Christian down.

Christian clenched his jaw, sighed softly and stepped forward. He knew he had no right to be mad at Chad for sleeping with someone else; after all, there was a time he would have done the same. Christian wasn't sure if it hurt more or less that it was some random tiny blond. Probably less. It would have hurt a whole _shit_ load if it was some guy in there with Chad. Chad stepped back to let him into the apartment and Christian slipped passed him, curling his fingers around the strap of his duffel bag. His eyes swept over the apartment, thinking it was outrageously messy and very like Chad. "I like it," he mumbled, glancing over at Chad. "Your place. It's very you."

"Yeah... whatever... listen I'll be right back." Chad disappeared down the hallway to urge his guest to get moving. While he was in the bedroom he got dressed and tried to minimize the damage with the girl he'd picked up. Really? He didn't care all that much about her feelings - he'd been clear up front that it was just sex and they were _both_ well aware that it hadn't been all that great. He showed her out and closed the door behind her, leaning against it for a few moments. _Fuck_ of all the times for Chris to show up at his door. Taking a deep breath he walked back around the corner and crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall. "So... you're here."

Shuffling the bag on his shoulder, Christian nodded. "I am," he folded his arms across his chest and swept his gaze once more across the apartment before settling them on Chad. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have just shown up. I should have called. I... it felt too important. To be said over the phone," he shrugged and dropped his gaze.

"It was important," Chad cringed, "is important." Moving all the way into the room Chad motioned for Christian to sit down, "please." He sat on the couch opposite the chair he'd pointed at, nervous as hell and not quite sure what to expect.

Taking a moment to prepare himself, pulling in a deep breath, Christian watched Chad move. He followed slowly, setting on the edge of the couch for a moment before sliding back slightly to get more comfortable. He pulled his bag into his lap and watched Chad fidget for a moment before looking away. "I meant what I said out there."

"I meant it when I said it at your place, but you didn't believe me." Chad looked down at his fingers, "and this...” he nodded toward the bedroom, "she was... _fuck_ , I didn't even know how to be myself once I came back here." His lips were pressed together into a thin, white line.

"Was she... the only..." he gestured with his hand, not sure if he really wanted to know or not.

Nodding slowly Chad rubbed the back of his hands across his mouth. "Not doing anything with anyone wasn't working out so well for me - so... yeah... this didn't work out so well either. I'm not sure she appreciated hearing about you after..." he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry... I didn't think you and I were," he wasn't sure what he thought anymore.

Christian shrugged. The thought of picking up some random guy had occurred to him more than once over the past week, though he'd never actually done it, was far too worried he'd spend the whole time comparing them to Chad and that would have hurt worse. He understood at least, though it didn't make the sting hurt less. "I get it," he nodded and curled his fingers into the bag. "So... I freaked. I know I did. And I really am..." Sorry didn't seem big enough to cover it. "I felt the same. Even then. I just wasn't prepared for what that meant. You're the first guy I've ever _felt_ anything for. Seeing as I'm thirty five years old, that's a pretty big deal."

"I know," Chad couldn't look at him. He was scared to see that look of disgust again, disappointment. "So you probably don't now though, yeah? Feel that way I mean. Anymore." Chad bit down hard on his bottom lip, even rolled it back and forth between his teeth - anything to distract himself from the crushing feeling inside his chest.

"Why? Because you slept with some random chick?" Christian shook his head, smiling slightly down at his bag. "Chad, I knew before we got into this whole thing that you often slept with random chicks. I... it hurt, yeah, not going to lie about that. But that doesn't mean..." Christian swallowed a few times and forced himself to look back up. "That doesn't make me just _stop_ loving you."

Chad finally turned his head to look at Christian. "Really?" He huffed out a small laugh, "'cause it didn't change the fact that I love you either. Kind of a coincidence that." It took a lot of courage to seek out Christian's eyes.

Christian smiled softly, and slid his bag to the floor, adjusting on the couch and patting the spot next to him, "C'mere."

It was all the invitation Chad needed and he slid closer to Christian quickly, knowing exactly how to get comfortable. It was almost like they'd never been apart. Chad's arms slipped over Christian's waist and he settled against the other man's side. It felt good. "I'm _sorry_ ," Chad murmured against Christian's chest. "I didn't phone because I couldn't take you saying... no again." It was hard to get those words out, they kind of jammed up in his throat and it felt like he had to shove them out forcefully.

"I know," Christian slid his hand through Chad's bed ruffled hair. "I wouldn't have said no," he pressed a kiss to the top of Chad's head and sighed softly. "I didn't call because I'm an idiot who is apparently, relationship retarded," he chuckled softly and slid his hand down Chad's back, gathering him up and pulling him easily onto his lap. "We'll figure it out. How to not be so horrible at this."

Laughing Chad threw his head back, "see this right here, is what is wrong with women. They can't lift me." He squirmed around so he was straddling Christian's lap. "Now what? Where do we go from here?" He smiled and ran his hands through Christian's hair.

"Well," Christian leaned into the touch and let his eyes flicker closed, not even realizing how much he had missed _this_. The soft, quiet moments. "I could stay here for awhile? I could get a hotel if you want... and um... got a few weeks to kill before the tour so we could go back to my place, or stay here. And... if you're not doing anything, you could come with me on the tour? Can't promise it'll be loads of excitement but... I'd like to introduce Steve to my boyfriend," he quirked his lip up in a soft smile and looked to the side, wondering what Chad would make of the word.

"You don't want to stay here?" Chad felt a little hurt and then the rest of Christian's words filtered into his brain. "Boyfriend?" He grinned. "I like that," leaning forward he buried himself in the smell of his lover, "then you gotta go grab a coffee or something and let me clean, and shower and come back... so we can start over and I can ask you to stay."

Chuckling softly, Christian nodded, "Alright. I'll go get us coffee and donuts, you clean up." He ruffled a hand through Chad's mass of blond hair. "Don't suppose I can have a kiss first? Or would you rather wait?"

As much as it pained him, and he was pretty sure that Christian could see it on his face he shook his head..."not like this," he was aware of the taste of the woman still lingering in his mouth. "Please? Come back, start over?"

"I don't..." with a soft sigh Christian dipped his head and nodded. "Alright. I'll come back," he lifted his head once more, gazing at Chad for a long moment before pushing at him slightly. "Let's do it now before I pin you down on this couch and make you kiss me."

Chad slid back off of Christian's lap, "promise you'll come back? Not more than half an hour?" He shuffled his feet nervously already moving back toward the hallway.

"Half hour," Christian nodded and pushed up, gesturing down to his bag. "I'll even leave my bag here," he smiled softly and headed for the door. "See you later."

Chad had never moved faster in his life. The first thing he did was race down the hall and tear the sheets off his bed and throw them in the hamper, then he hopped in the shower and spent as little time as possible getting squeaky clean; brushed his teeth, ran his hand through his hair and darted back into the bedroom to put clean sheets on the bed. He even busted out the fancy duvet cover his Mom had given him for Christmas the year before. As soon as the bed was made up he threw all the dishes in the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen counters down then did a sweep of the living room. It wasn't too hard, he was messy not a complete and total slob. By the time Christian came back up the stairs Chad was sitting nervously on the edge of the couch only 99% convinced that Christian was actually coming back.

Shifting the box and drink carrier in his hands, Christian reached out and knocked on the door. He couldn't help the small smile that lifted up his lips, right along with the swell of giddy energy that came at the idea of having Chad as a permanent part of his life. A week apart had been too much. Christian couldn't wait to pull him close into his arms and kiss him. His eyes lifted up off the ground when the door opened, sliding over Chad's lean frame, across muscles arms, and settling on blue eyes. "Hey. I come bearing coffee and donuts."

"Christian," Chad stepped forward and took the drinks inviting the other man in with a nod of his head, "I'm kind of relieved you came back, man." He grinned sheepishly.

"My favourite shirt’s in that bag," Christian smirked, chuckling softly as he pushed the door closed and followed Chad through to the kitchen. "Plus, there's this guy. And I'm a little, or well... a lot, into him. So you know, seemed like the smart thing to do."

"I'm glad you wised up then." He grinned at Christian, certainly the biggest grin he'd had on his face since he'd returned home from his trip. "So, we've got coffee and donuts," he turned and stood there facing Christian, "and me."

"Hmm, which to choose first..." Christian hummed thoughtfully and stepped toward Chad, smile dancing across his lips. "I think you need to give me a proper hello."

"I can do that," Chad closed the distance between then pushing Christian back until he hit the wall then pressing up against him. "I absolutely, can do that." It was exactly the way he remembered; the way his body sank against Christian's hard muscles and the way their lips crashed together. Chad moaned as soon as Christian opened his mouth and their tongues instinctively tangled together. He clung to Christian's shoulders as their mouths moved together, wet and hot. Eventually, when he needed air, Chad slid his hands up into Christian's hair and pulled back slightly. "Hello," he murmured.

"I missed you," Christian mumbled, hand slipping through Chad's hair. "Very much," he pulled him in once more to seal their lips together, thrusting his tongue forward between Chad's lips, drawing back so Chad's would follow and he could suck on it eagerly. His hands slid down Chad's back, over the curve of his ass, squeezing roughly and bringing their hips together. Pulling back from the kiss he murmured, "Did you miss me?"

Chad's hips had a mind of their own and rocked forward into Christian's body. One kiss and Chad's cock was so full and hard it ached, and his heart was beating so fast it felt like it would fly out of his body. "I did," he sucked on Christian's bottom lip, nipping it gently then kissing it softly, "my _entire_ body missed you. The corners of his lips turned up into a smile against Christian's mouth and he laughed quietly. "Wanna see my bedroom? One of the nicest rooms in the house..." he hooked his fingers into Christian's belt loops and tugged him away from the wall.

"I could do with seeing your bedroom," Christian mumbled following the tug on his pants, hands sliding across every part of Chad he could reach. The moment they were in the room he barely got a chance to look around before Chad's lips were against his once more. "It's very... nice..." he mumbled between kisses, backing Chad up to the bed. He let his fingers curl around the hem of Chad's shirt, tugging it over his head and tossing it to the side. He pulled up his own shirt a moment later, letting it join Chad's as he stepped into his lover - _boyfriend_ \- once more. "How's your bed? Nice and soft?"

"Yeah, got..." he gasped as Christian's bare flesh was suddenly pressed against his, "pillow top." He swallowed, _hard_ and sank to his knees in front of Christian. He knew the man loved it when he was there. Reaching up Chad's fingers, clumsy with the desire running through his body, tugged on the button and zipper of Christian's jeans and soon had them undone. Tipping his head back Chad stared up at Christian as he slid his hands inside the jeans pushing them slowly down over his lover's hips. Fire shot through his veins straight to his cock and he moaned and leaned in to press his lips against the line of Christian's shaft already tenting his boxers.

 _Christian let his head fall back as he gasped, " _Jesus_ Chad," the touch was super sensitive to him. Almost too much after one week of celibacy following over a month of sex nearly every single day. He shuffled slightly, toeing out of his boots and kicking them to the side. His fingers weaved through Chad's hair, curling and tightening. "So pretty on your knees like that," he murmured, chin resting against his skin as he peered down at Chad, smirking slightly. "I can tell you missed my cock filling your mouth. I know you want to taste it,” he rocked his hips forward slightly, urging on Chad's movements. _

Every word out of Christian's mouth sent shivers racing down Chad's spine; it was like being dipped an inch at a time in icy cold water. Chad's fingers moved frantically tugging the materials of Christian's boxers and jeans down, then slowed, he wanted to make it last - tease Christian a little. The man seemed to think that Chad couldn't wait a moment for anything and Chad planned to show him otherwise. He inched the jeans down over Christian's hips, Chad's hot mouth following their path leaving a wet trail along his lover's skin. Looking down, Chad nuzzled into the dip at the top of Christian's thigh, sucking hard on the tender skin there then sinking his teeth in.

Air left his lungs in a soft whoosh and Christian's knees dipped, coming dangerously close to collapsing. "I need to sit," he grunted, turning to drop onto the edge of the bed and spread his legs as wide as they could go with the denim still there. Chad had his pants off in the next minute though which was one good thing. This way he could spread his legs completely open for Chad to crawl between. He was desperately crazy with the need to have Chad's lips around his flesh and he wrapped his hand behind Chad's neck, bringing him up to brush their lips together. "Such silky lips. So warm. Want them all over me."

"Awfully needy aren't ya?" Chad couldn't resist grinning as he teased his lover. Crawling forwards he ran his hands up Christian's thighs digging his thumbs into the flesh there. It would bruise and neither of them cared. Sitting back on his heels Chad let his hands slide down the firm thighs again then trailed his fingers down the inside of Christian's calves. Crawling forwards on his knees he leaned down and pressed a trail of gentle open-mouthed kisses stopping just above his knee.

Christian didn't really mind the fact that he was coming across as needy. He _was_ needy. For Chad at least. "Such a tease," he growled, letting his hand ghost through Chad's hair before coming to curl along the base of his cock. "Feels like it's been for-fuckin-ever," he groaned as he slid his hand up the full length of his cock, thumb swirling along the top.

Chad eyed Christian's fingers moving over his shaft and licked his lips, "aren't you savin' that for me?" Kneeling up he shoved Christian's hand out of the way and breathed out on the swollen balls right in front of his lips. Burying his face in the musky hair Chad's tongue darted out to lap at Christian's sac, sucking gently then harder as he filled his mouth with the swollen flesh.

"Jesus," Christian gasped, hands falling back onto the mattress, chest arching up slightly. His eyes clenched closed as he rocked his hips down into the mattress, shifting back up to try and get more flesh into Chad's mouth. It took force to let his head fall forward and peel his eyes open but it was worth it to catch sight of Chad sucking on him so eagerly. Blood pumped through his veins like fire and he moaned Chad's name.

Releasing Christian's balls, moaning softly, Chad slid his hands along Christian's thighs again; his fingers dug hard into the muscled legs and he hauled himself up moving his tongue up Christian's cock in one long, slick stroke from base to tip.

Christian nearly jerked completely off the bed up into the touch before he fell back, moaning loudly. "Keep this up and I might not last long enough to fuck you," Christian murmured, finding it much easier to arch his body up now that he was down on the mattress, legs bent over the edge, lifting to curl around Chad's lower body.

"Don't care," Chad mumbled as his tongue darted out to swirl around the head of Christian's cock; he dipped his tongue into the slit and tasted the precome already gathering there. Moaning against the rigid flesh, Chad sucked his way down the length of Christian's shaft; he swirled his tongue on the fiery skin as he slipped his fingers under Christian to run his balls around in his fingers.

This time Christian's body did arch up off the bed, eager for every slide down of heat over his skin. "Fuck Chad," he growled, eyes clenched shut as his body moved restlessly beneath Chad's. "I wanna..." he mumbled, words practically incoherent. All he could really focus in on was the slick, warm glide of Chad's mouth over his flesh, better than any blow job he'd ever had before.

Chad pushed up off the floor and moved around to crawl onto the side of the bed, "c'mon," he tugged Christian up to guide him higher on the bed. As soon as Christian was settled Chad began a journey down his lover's body. He'd missed all of Christian, missed every curve of each muscle, the valleys and the lines. He placed a kiss everywhere, on each patch of skin he could reach, working his way down over Christian's ribs, his abs then nosing his way back into the rough curls at the base of his cock. With a last look up at Christian Chad looked back down and slid his mouth hot and wet over the rigid shaft of his lover, swallowing he took him deep into his throat humming softly as his fingers worked on Christian's thigh.

Christian nearly came from that one action alone. His hands tangled into Chad's hair, curling tightly, and every part of him thrummed and vibrated from the touch. "Chad..." he moaned, head pushing back down into the pillow, hips struggling to move up into Chad's mouth. His orgasm was just barely being kept at bay and he was torn between wanting to come _in_ Chad and wanting to come in his mouth. Somehow the man had reduced him to begging and Christian was fairly certain he'd hear about that later, "Please Chad. Want you..."

Chad's lips slid up and off Christian's cock, sucking gently on the slit for a few moments in order to lap up the taste of his lover. Almost collapsing by Christian's side, Chad moved up until he was lying pressed against the heated flesh of his lover. Panting slight, trying to hold his own desire at bay, Chad rocked his hips forward into Christian's hip and moaned against his ear. "Anything... y..you want," he whispered.

"Good," Christian grinned and rolled them over, hands falling almost instantly to Chad's waist line. He'd certainly been more graceful taking off pants before - and this time he nearly fell off the end of the bed as he tugged down the denim - but it didn’t take long for Chad to be naked beneath him. Christian knelt on the edge of the bed, eyeing him and dragging his tongue across his lips. "Got some lube around here?" He asked huskily, eyes lingering a moment longer on the man's hard shaft brushing against his abs before lifting to Chad's eyes.

Chad's hands slipped down his body settling on his hips; he reached out with his fingers to rub them along his weeping shaft. "Top drawer, behind you," he murmured, fingers curling around his own cock as his eyes lingered on Christian's body.

Christian stumbled back to the drawer, tugging it open and taking a moment to curl his fingers around the edge of the wood and take a deep breath. Then he snatched at the bottle and hurried back to the bed, crawling between Chad's spread legs. His eyes moved with Chad's hand along his flesh and he looked up into Chad's eyes wetting his lips and flicking open the top. "Keep touchin' yourself," he murmured, lathering up three fingers with cool liquid and shifting to press the tip of his index finger against tight muscle, sliding forward. His eyes once more settled on Chad slowly stroking himself and as the hand slid down, he dipped down and sucked the crown into his mouth, tongue lapping eagerly at pre come.

" _Jesus_ , Chris..." Chad's body writhed back and forth his own hand curling tighter on his cock for a few moments struggling to get hold of the lust eating away at his control. One hand moving slowly up and down his cock, Chad reached up with his other hand to let his fingers trail through his lover's hair. His hips rocked up off the bed, his hole burning slightly as he tried to sink down on Christian finger. "M..more," he whispered as his head fell back, shoulders heaving his chest up off the mattress.

Shifting his arms, Christian slid his finger all the way in, only giving Chad a moment to adjust to it before adding the second one. He lowered his mouth over Chad's flesh, letting it rest against his fingers and sliding up, back down, in time with his strokes. Christian stretched the muscles as quickly as he could, eager to be back inside Chad. He had to keep his hips arched up off the bed to keep from coming just at the thought.

"Christian," Chad's fingers were moving on his cock, up and down, curling open and closed his thumb sweeping over the tip and then brushing his lover's cheek. "Fuck me... Christian," Chad was writhing impatiently on the bed. It had been far too long and he was _tired_ of dreaming about Christian filling him up, thrusting into him and he wanted to feel it. He scooted down on the bed, sinking Christian's fingers deep inside his ass and clenched the muscles around the digits.

It was enough of a request for him. Christian pulled his fingers roughly out of Chad, shifting up to his knees and working quick to smear lube across his aching flesh. The words were still vibrating along his skin, making him shiver from the sheer level of want. He slicked himself as fast as possible, tossing the bottle to the side and rubbing his hand along his flesh before shoving Chad's legs impossible wider. "God I want you," Christian growled, lining himself up and sliding forward in one quick, thorough thrust, not stopping until he was completely buried, chest pressing down into Chad's.

" _Fuck,_ , yes Christian... please..." Chad didn't even know what he was asking for now. He had what he wanted, what he'd been unable to forget about since he'd left Christian's house. His ass burned and his muscles were twitching, rebelling against the intrusion - and it felt so _fucking_ good Chad thought he would come right that instant. He squeezed his cock tight at the base, staving off his orgasm and whined long and loud into Christian's mouth.

Whatever is was Chad was begging for, Christian needed just as much. He pulled up, sliding all the way out of Chad and slamming back in, claiming him with a force hard enough it instantly shook the bed into the wall. He drove down into Chad harder than he ever had and it never felt like enough, never felt like he was deep enough. Chad's name fell from his lips over and over, constantly swelling up in him as he drove them closer and closer. There was no way either were going to last long if he kept up this pace, and Christian realized with a thrill of pleasure that it didn't matter. They had as long as they wanted to be together like this. The thought only made him react further, thrusts taking on a shallow, long pace as his fingers tightened against Chad's flesh.

Chad's hand fell away from his cock and it fell heavy and full against his belly. Each thrust of Christian's cock urged Chad's body closer to the release he could feel spiralling around inside of him. His hips were thrusting up off the bed, fingers curling in to Christian's hair, beads of sweat springing up on his forehead. Chad's entire body responded to each touch, each thrust sending white hot sparks jetting through his body. His vision wavered and he slammed his eyes closed, head falling back onto the mattress as he gasped in air. "Chris," he murmured, "too close..." never in his _life_ had Chad come without someone working his cock and now, just the sometime friction of Christian's body and the slamming into his ass and Chad could feel his orgasm fluttering to life in his belly. Chad's hands flailed forward as he reached for Christian's shoulders, hips moving erratically, spine twisting, chest arching up. His cock jerked up off his belly then started to throb almost painfully as ropes of come shot out, pulsing slick and hot between them.

It was always amazing to watch the expressions on Chad's face as he hit and Christian peeled his eyes open, gazing down at his lover with glazed eyes as he continued his quick thrusts. The muscles rippled along Christian's cock, clenching down hard and he came, hips stuttering forward with the sudden intensity of his release. "Chad," he growled, voice deep and rich, working each pulse of white hot deep within him. Christian finally collapsed down onto Chad with a long exhale of air, burying his face into Chad's neck and panting roughly. His heart was racing so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of his chest at any moment.

Chad could feel Christian's come pulsing into his ass and his body shuddered. He turned his face into Christian's hair and panted, puffs of air blowing his lover's hair away from his face. "I _fuckin'_ love you, Kane, I don't care if you're gonna freak out again," he gasped for air, "I'm sayin' it." He moaned and shifted under Christian's weight.

Christian huffed out a laugh and pulled out of Chad, flopping to the side and dragging Chad close to him. "Not gonna freak out," he crushed their lips together, sliding his tongue across Chad's for a long moment before pulling back. "I _fuckin'_ love you too Murray," he mumbled, smiling softly and trailing the back of his fingers down Chad's face before tugging him in for another kiss.

Chad lay there for a while until his breathing was almost normal, a grin plastered on his face. "I'm _so_ telling everyone you _begged_." He rolled toward Christian and burrowed into his side, "need... rest."

"I'm tellin' everyone you beg all the time," Christian snuggled down into the sheets, breathing in Chad's scent. "I even have video to prove it."

Chad's eyes popped open and he propped himself up on his elbow, "wait, video?"

Christian's lips quirked up as his eyes drifted open, "What? Jesus Murray I think you're losing it." He laughed and tugged him down, "C'mon, don't freak. There's no video. Yet."

Chad settled back down against Christian's chest, making sure he left a mark when he bit him.

"Go to sleep," Christian chuckled, swatting at him playfully for a moment before settling back in. They were quiet for a few minutes and Christian could feel the man's breath evening out. "Hey Chad?" He asked softly, nuzzling against Chad's hair. "I know I kind of assumed it earlier but, to make it official... so we're on the same page and all... do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Laughing softly, Chad sighed out, "I was hoping you'd be mine." He yawned and nuzzled against Christian's chest.

"Okay, guess we're each others," he grinned and settled further into the mattress, eyes falling closed as sleep tugged at him.

-=-=-=-

"God Kane, I don't think I've _ever_ seen your eyes look like that," Jensen mused as he dropped down into the beach chair, sliding four beers onto the table between them.

Christian let his head fall to the side and he chuckled, "Dude. Shut up."

"So... when you asking him?" Jensen pulled one of the beers up and pressed it to his lips.

Turning his gaze back out to the beach, Christian let his eyes scan over Chad and Jared running together in the sand, occasionally jumping on each other. His heart swelled as his eyes skid across the long lines of the of his boyfriend's body. For one moment Chad looked over and caught his eye. They shared a familiar, warm smile, nine months in the making. Beside him Jensen laughed and Christian turned to him, rolling his eyes, "Have I said shut up? Because I'm not above kicking your ass."

"Yeah yeah Mr. tough guy, I'm not the one who's about to _propose_ to my boyfriend," Jensen laughed and reached over to ruffle Christian's hair fondly.

Christian laughed and instinctively let his hand fall to his pocket, feeling the familiar shape of the small box he'd been carrying for almost a month outlined against the material. "You would in a heartbeat if you guys didn't have the show to think about."

"True," Jensen nodded, shifting in his seat to turn completely toward Christian. "Seriously though dude, when are you gonna do it? How's it gonna happen?"

With a faint chuckle, Christian shifted as well, dropping his legs off the side of the chair and staring into Jensen's bright green eyes. "It's going to be a private thing. So no, you and your Padalecki don't get to watch it go down. And... soon. Really soon. I've been trying to find the right moment. I don't..." his eyes skittered around the sand, lifting back up Jensen after a moment. "I feel like it's something that can't happen after sex you know? I want him to know that it's more than just the..." he gestured with his hand.

Jensen's head tipped back with the force of his laughter and fell forward. "Jesus. What the hell has Murray done with my Christian Kane? Because I'm fairly certain I just heard something ridiculously romantic come out of your mouth and this kind of terrifies me."

Christian arched his eyebrows and slowly shook his head, "You're a real piece of work Ackles."

"Jared!" Jensen called, pushing up from his chair. "Hey Jared! C'mere!" He grinned when Jared and Chad turned toward them, continuing to bounce around each other as they headed toward them. He dropped his eyes to Christian and smirked. "Here you go Kane, your own private moment without sex. Jared and I on the other hand..." his grin lit up wickedly and he stepped to Jared's side, sliding up to his ear and whispering something in his ear that made his body squirm.

Christian rolled his eyes and snorted, pushing up from the chair and smiling over at Chad, reaching out to touch his forearm gently.

"Good," Chad was panting a little, legs covered in sand, "Jared was wearing me out anyway." He grinned and leaned in to brush his lips across Christian's.

"See you two later," Jensen grinned at them, laughing at Christian's expression as he started to drag Jared away.

"Byeee Chad..." Jared called over his shoulder as he slipped an arm around Jensen's waist.

"One of those beers for me?" Chad glanced at the table.

Christian watched the retreating backs of his friends, dragging a hand nervously up through his hair. After a moment he realized Chad had spoken and he turned back to him, "Um... well one was supposed to... sure. I think you can..." Christian broke off with a shaky laugh and grabbed the un open beer, holding it out for Chad.

Chad tilted his head, smiling, "you okay there Kane? Did Jensen make you think too much while I was gone?" He took the beer and popped the top off taking a quick drink. "We staying out here for a while or going in?"

"Let's... go up to our room," Christian smiled softly and headed that way, knowing Chad would follow. His mind had been turning over how to do this since he decided to he was going too and now that it was actually upon him, he was so nervous his hands were shaking. There was the distinct possibility Chad might possibly freak out. Too _much_ commitment. Christian himself wasn't that sure why it seemed so important to him but once the idea was there, it seemed like the most important thing in the world. He headed straight through the back entrance into the beach front hotel, bee lining for the elevators. After he punched up the up arrow, his eyes slid over to Chad then back to the elevator.

Chad reached out and slid his fingers into Christian's, "you okay?" Reaching up with his other hand Chad brushed Christian's hair back off his face. He'd never seen Christian look so nervous, his face was even a bit pale which was amazing considering they'd been on the beach for days.

"Yeah," Christian nodded, tugging Chad into the elevator with him. "We just need to talk is all."

Chad blinked a few times, "okay." His fingers twined with Christian's tightly and he stared over at him. Chad's heart started beating a little faster as he started to wonder if he had accidentally done something wrong. Maybe he'd spent too much time with Jared, or not been as attentive as he should have been. Over the past almost-year there had been ups and downs, times when Christian has felt a little trapped, times when Chad had felt a little misunderstood -but they'd always worked it out and Chad had thought that things had been feeling really good lately. Nervous, he ran his hand over his hair and looked up to watch the floor numbers light up as they neared their floor.

Running his tongue across his lips, Christian tugged Chad out of the elevator the minute the doors opened, pulling him down the hallway toward their hotel room. The minute they were inside the room he dropped his hand and walked a few steps forward, kneeling in front of the mini fridge and pulling out a beer. He brought it to his lips and didn't set it down until he'd drained half the contents, breath falling from his lips shakily.

"Are you gonna dump me?" Chad's mouth was in gear long before his brain. "'Cause I'm sure whatever I did it was a really dumb mistake. You remember the time you were pissed at me because of the truck thing - and I mean, I really didn't know how important to you it was that... that was like, _your_ truck. But I stopped right? I fixed it." He was wringing his hands, shuffling nervously.

Turning to him slowly, Christian couldn't help chuckling, "Dump you? Yeah Chad, I brought you all the way to a Caribbean island to dump you, thought it might spice up the trip." He arched his eyebrows and shook his head. "No, I'm not gonna dump you. C'mere," he moved to stand by the edge of the bed, holding out his hand.

"Thank _God_ ," Chad took Christian's hand and stepped closer, "I just got you all broken in." He grinned and leaned forward to kiss the corner of Christian's mouth.

"Way to make me sound like a house pet," Christian chuckled and let his hands fall to Chad's shoulders, turning him and pushing him down on the bed, shifting to the spot between Chad's spread legs and kneeling, sitting back on his heels and taking Chad's hands. He took a deep breath to steady himself, fixing his eyes on Chad's hands in his.

"Chris?" Chad's voice was a little shaky and his heart was thudding away, obviously whatever they needed to talk about was pretty important.

Christian dragged his eyes up and peered into Chad's, lips tilting up in a slight smile. "Here's the thing Chad. I'm pretty into you, I think you know that. And it's... you and I... we're a good thing. We make it work yeah?" He swallowed, tongue sliding out to wet his lips, "So far, going between your place and my place... it works okay. But... I don't think... it's not enough for me anymore." He paused, trying to judge Chad's reaction up to this point.

"Not enough?" Chad's brow furrowed for a few moments and he swallowed again, "you... think we should move in together maybe?" His lips twitched into a slight smile.

"Yeah, I think we should," Christian nodded and squeezed Chad's hand before releasing his hold and shifting up to pull the small box from his pocket. "But... more than just that," he swallowed and lifted up the box, pressing it into Chad's hand. "I kind of never thought I would do this. Actually I was pretty sure I never would. But of course, you had to come along and throw my life all upside down," he chuckled, looking down at his hands in his lap and wondering if he could force himself to say the words or just let Chad put it together for himself.

There was a puzzled expression on Chad's face, maybe even a little suspicious. He glanced down at the box and then back up at Christian's eyes. "I should open this?"

Christian's head fell back a little with a laugh, "Unless you want to just stare at the box." He swallowed and watched Chad's fingers slide along the box, "I hope it fits..." he mumbled.

Lifting the lid Chad's eyes focused in on a silver ring with a Celtic pattern on it. He ran a finger over it, brow pulling together and looked back into Christian's eyes. His lips started to curl up, "Kane? What's the ring for?" He broke out into a grin. There was _no_ way that Christian was going to get away without actually asking if this was what Chad thought it was. Reaching out he wrapped a strand of Christian's hair around his finger without thinking.

"It's for Jensen, what do you think? Think he'll like it?" Christian said solemnly, glancing up at Chad.

Chad slipped forward so he slid down off the bed almost landing on top of Christian. Laughing he knocked Christian down onto his back crawling up over him until he was straddling his thighs. "Ask me." Chad rested the box on his lover's chest and crossed his arms as he waited.

"Chad..." Christian bit down on his bottom lip, struggling under Chad until he could slide the man back, sitting up and positioning Chad in his lap. He curled his fingers around the box and pulled the ring out, tossing it to the side. "I always knew you were a romantic at heart," he grumbled as he pulled Chad's hand up and slipped the ring just slightly over Chad's ring finger. "Chad Michael Murray," he looked into bright blue eyes, lips quirking up into a smile. "Sometimes you drive me absolutely insane. And sometimes you piss me off _so_ much I can't even stand being around you. But... sometimes... I love you so much I can't even remember what it was like before we were together," he swallowed once more and forced the rest of the words out, "So... I think we could be really great together, for the rest of our lives and you would just... make me very happy if you would agree to being my... husband." Christian exhaled slowly; surprised at just how hard it had been to get the words to come even if they were the thing he wanted most.

"That's the easiest question you've _ever_ asked me. Yes." Chad leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to Christian's, "will you be mine?" His lips twitched back into a grin, warm breath ghosting over Christian's lips. Now his heart was thumping hard and fast for a _very_ different reason.

"Hmm," Christian hummed thoughtfully, laughing as Chad slapped his arm slightly. "Yeah, I guess we'll be each others."

"That's convenient, otherwise man, awkward." Chad looked down at the ring, "it's not on. Do it! Kane!" Laughing Chad slid his right arm around Christian's waist.

"Sheesh it's like you're excited or something," Christian laughed and slid the ring the rest of the way down, grinning when it fit perfectly. "So does this mean you're going to be Chad Michael Murray Kane? Cause damn man... that's quite the name," he continued laughing as he brushed a kiss along Chad's lips, feeling practically giddy with happiness.

"I kinda like Chad Kane," he could feel himself blushing even as he said it. "I am excited," his smile softened, "I love you, and I thought you were gonna dump me in the elevator so this is pretty freakin' good as an alternative to that." He looked at the ring and rolled it round with his thumb for a few moments then slid both arms around Christian and pressed up close against his body.

Christian's heart clenched tightly at the unexpected response, _Chad Kane_ , he liked the sound of that. "You're stuck with me now," Christian murmured, slanting his lips over Chad's. For two guys who - less than a year ago - were completely relationship retarded, they'd certainly come a long way. "I love you too," he added into the kiss and tightened his hold.


End file.
